tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38054282084010612622024-03-13T11:30:47.006-07:00Blonde AmbitionLaurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-14982404675499471022010-06-23T16:10:00.001-07:002010-06-25T15:14:35.463-07:00Fathers DayEvery year John spends Fathers Day at the LA Roadster show with his dad so they headed off to that in the morning. Next year Ava should be able to go along with them!<br /><br />That afternoon we had John's parents over for a late lunch before the headed off on vacation. Ava was very excited for Daddy to open his gifts!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCKZ0fep7mI/AAAAAAAAA6o/Y0JSSYzvEmA/s1600/IMG_1184.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCKZ0fep7mI/AAAAAAAAA6o/Y0JSSYzvEmA/s320/IMG_1184.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486116423173008994" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCKZ1Ck0TiI/AAAAAAAAA6w/V8xddQgl9_E/s1600/IMG_1192.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCKZ1Ck0TiI/AAAAAAAAA6w/V8xddQgl9_E/s320/IMG_1192.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486116432594095650" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Ava and Daddy<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCUpswrBdoI/AAAAAAAAA64/kS8ROFWjb4k/s1600/IMG_1207.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCUpswrBdoI/AAAAAAAAA64/kS8ROFWjb4k/s320/IMG_1207.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486837569977153154" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Ava, Daddy and Papa John<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCUpti7JH0I/AAAAAAAAA7A/a0CURgRvXbg/s1600/IMG_1203.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TCUpti7JH0I/AAAAAAAAA7A/a0CURgRvXbg/s320/IMG_1203.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486837583466536770" border="0" /></a><br /><br />My dad was out of town on Fathers Day so we are going to celebrate soon.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-1829856326862312362010-06-23T15:53:00.000-07:002010-06-23T16:06:53.091-07:00Back on the WagonI'll admit it, I was not careful while I was pregnant and gained 55 pounds. As much as I tried not to, I gave into the "I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want" mentality. At my 2 week postpartum appointment I was down 25 pounds. When I went back for my six week appointment my weight was the same. I guess I'm one of the unlucky ones that didn't lose weight breastfeeding.<br /><br />Breastfeeding was something that just didn't end up working for us. Ava wasn't gaining weight and we had to supplement with formula. Even when I would breastfeed her, she would be starving right after. So I made the decision at 4 weeks that I was going to stop breastfeeding at 8 weeks. So for those 4 weeks, I pumped as much as I could and stocked up our freezer. So even though I am no longer producing breast milk, Ava is still getting some. She is doing great on this formula/ breast milk combo and is growing like a weed. Besides not gaining weight those first few weeks, she started off small so she has some catching up to do. We go back to the pediatrician in 2 weeks so we'll know then how much she has gained.<br /><br />Monday was 8 weeks. With breastfeeding no longer a concern, I was free to start working out and doing Weight Watchers without worrying about my milk supply. So far things are going well. I've stayed within my points and stuck to my workout plan.<br /><br />I'm really trying to maintain a positive attitude since I have so much to lose. I have 30 pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and then I'd like to lose another 25 to get back to what I was at my smallest, a year and a half ago. It's easy to think it's such a huge undertaking but I'm instead trying to focus on reclaiming my old lifestyle.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-88957966592888374842010-06-13T15:57:00.000-07:002010-06-13T16:52:27.130-07:00The first 6 weeksHer first six weeks have been amazing and overwhelming but we are loving every minute. It seems like she is changing every day! Here are some highlights from the first six weeks.<br /><br />She loves to snooze.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVpSydt9wI/AAAAAAAAA5w/b00e2XJMlCk/s1600/554.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVpSydt9wI/AAAAAAAAA5w/b00e2XJMlCk/s320/554.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482403892898428674" border="0" /></a><br /><br />First Doctor's appointment. She was back to her birth weight and grew half an inch at her 1 week appointment.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVm_MJB9VI/AAAAAAAAA5g/VrDSX-uNSmE/s1600/417.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVm_MJB9VI/AAAAAAAAA5g/VrDSX-uNSmE/s320/417.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482401357170341202" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVnsgnPxTI/AAAAAAAAA5o/e_AoUElTnhs/s1600/423.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVnsgnPxTI/AAAAAAAAA5o/e_AoUElTnhs/s320/423.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482402135759897906" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mothers Day<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVtP8yF7XI/AAAAAAAAA6Y/qUY5nOGSdTU/s1600/470.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVtP8yF7XI/AAAAAAAAA6Y/qUY5nOGSdTU/s320/470.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482408242175143282" border="0" /></a><br /><br />First bath<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVuVawDY_I/AAAAAAAAA6g/mzUj8nWgwe4/s1600/393.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVuVawDY_I/AAAAAAAAA6g/mzUj8nWgwe4/s320/393.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482409435630625778" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Car show in Santa Maria for daddy's birthday.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVpTbF-oAI/AAAAAAAAA54/Kp_pXNQFp-o/s1600/588.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVpTbF-oAI/AAAAAAAAA54/Kp_pXNQFp-o/s320/588.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482403903804710914" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVrFhEafHI/AAAAAAAAA6I/FPaDDh-HunU/s1600/577.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVrFhEafHI/AAAAAAAAA6I/FPaDDh-HunU/s320/577.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482405863913847922" border="0" /></a><br /><br />One month old. 8 pounds, 3 oz and 21.25 inches.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVtPIzONXI/AAAAAAAAA6Q/rP4w5U1MjUA/s1600/565.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TBVtPIzONXI/AAAAAAAAA6Q/rP4w5U1MjUA/s320/565.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482408228221236594" border="0" /></a>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-70344080730023958732010-06-08T20:37:00.000-07:002010-06-09T13:17:05.501-07:00Birth StoryAt my 40 week appointment, baby still showed no signs of coming. So we scheduled my induction for the following Monday, 41 weeks and 1 day. I woke up at 5am to call to see if they had room to induce me that day. Thankfully there was a bed available so we headed in at 7am, our scheduled time.<br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_mOWX3p-I/AAAAAAAAA4A/ORGq2npgdF8/s1600/065.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_mOWX3p-I/AAAAAAAAA4A/ORGq2npgdF8/s320/065.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480852405731436514" border="0" /></a><br />When we got there, we signed our paperwork and were taken straight back to a room. Side note, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hoag</span> is an amazing hospital. Labor is easier with a view of Balboa and the ocean.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_mOyvZmuI/AAAAAAAAA4I/EyCdDDzMuHw/s1600/071.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_mOyvZmuI/AAAAAAAAA4I/EyCdDDzMuHw/s320/071.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480852413346323170" border="0" /></a><br />Our nurse came in soon after and started the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">pitocin</span>. The contractions began but were not bad. As time went on they definitely got stronger. I think the worst part was her head banging on my cervix with each contraction. The last few weeks of my pregnancy she was so low in the birth canal, I swear I felt like she was going to fall out.<br /><br />At 9am, the doctor came in to break my water and put a monitor in Ava's head to better track her heart rate. For some reason, this freaked me out. Not the monitor thing, just the fact that things were moving so fast. When you go overdue with a baby, you spend a lot of time waiting. Also, we were warned that we may spend part of that day waiting if they didn't have a room available. So here I had waited for so long and then all of the sudden things were moving FAST.<br /><br />When the doctor broke my water, there was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">meconium</span>. It's gross so if you are curious, look it up. This scared me but my nurse reassured me that it was common. To combat this they inserted a catheter to flush out my uterus. The catheter also monitored my contractions so this meant I was free from the monitors on my belly. Hooray!<br /><br />After my water was broken, the contractions started worsening and the pain was becoming really bad. I'd been warned to ask early for the epidural because sometimes it can take awhile for the anesthesiologist to come. So when it was offered, I said yes. I swear the anesthesiologist was lurking outside the door because 2 seconds later she was there. She was fabulous and the epidural was virtually pain free. I'm a big <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">needlephobe</span> and I have to say the IV was actually more painful. I felt better almost instantly. Not only physically but mentally. It was really the breath of fresh air I needed because I was getting pretty discouraged. I am very lucky that the epidural took really well and I didn't feel anything.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_oOZ-mouI/AAAAAAAAA4Q/UIPdzMo0s5U/s1600/085.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_oOZ-mouI/AAAAAAAAA4Q/UIPdzMo0s5U/s320/085.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480854605722460898" border="0" /></a><br />After that, things were progressing steadily, 1 cm every hour. By4pm I was 6cm dilated. I figured she would be here between 9 and 10pm. Around 430pm Ava's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">heart rate</span> started dropping so the nurse turned off the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pitocin</span> and gave me some oxygen.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_oPTJ5s-I/AAAAAAAAA4Y/VtdnH9iNrrQ/s1600/095.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_oPTJ5s-I/AAAAAAAAA4Y/VtdnH9iNrrQ/s320/095.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480854621070668770" border="0" /></a><br />Her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">heart rate</span> returned to normal so the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">pitocin</span> was turned back on at half the rate it was before. Her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">heart rate</span> dropped again so the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">pitocin</span> was turned off. At 5pm the nurse received a call from my doctor and she decided to take it in the nurse's station. I knew something was up. The nurse came back and gently informed me the best decision was a c-section. Although I knew it was a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">possibility</span> all along I began to panic. I asked John to get my mom from the waiting room, I knew she would have the words to calm me. She had all 3 of us kids via c-section. After talking to her I knew everything would be alright.<br /><br />We waited about an hour for my doctor to arrive from her office in Huntington Beach. She got there around 6pm and we were off to the OR to get ready. I was really nervous but thankfully the same anesthesiologist who did my epidural was in for my c-section. Not only did she talk me through everything, she kept me calm and even took the photos for us. The c-section was a breeze and although I've never <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">experienced</span> a regular delivery, I enjoyed being able to take in everything going on without doing any of the work :)<br /><br />At 6:35pm Ava made her entrance into the world. It was the most amazing, breathtaking moment of my life. Her cry was beautiful!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_yjnFDm8I/AAAAAAAAA44/PgjoX8w4jr4/s1600/121.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_yjnFDm8I/AAAAAAAAA44/PgjoX8w4jr4/s320/121.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480865965132716994" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qiTANDtI/AAAAAAAAA4g/PVgYc2zPsCg/s1600/137.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qiTANDtI/AAAAAAAAA4g/PVgYc2zPsCg/s320/137.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480857146470764242" border="0" /></a><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span>The doctor had thought maybe the reason her heart rate was dropping was because she was really big but she weighed in at only 7lbs 2 oz!<br /><br />After stitching me up we were taken to the recovery room where I got to hold her again and do skin to skin contact.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qmbhKCHI/AAAAAAAAA4w/FvaNctAm9aI/s1600/163.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qmbhKCHI/AAAAAAAAA4w/FvaNctAm9aI/s320/163.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480857217475938418" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qjRwfJEI/AAAAAAAAA4o/208qWIbd-IE/s1600/156.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_qjRwfJEI/AAAAAAAAA4o/208qWIbd-IE/s320/156.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480857163316274242" border="0" /></a><br />An hour later we were taken to our room and after a short trip to the nursery for some suctioning (she had a lot of fluid) she was introduced to all of her eager grandparents, aunts and uncles.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_0aTbupLI/AAAAAAAAA5I/PdvD3kldI_s/s1600/170.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 193px; height: 129px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_0aTbupLI/AAAAAAAAA5I/PdvD3kldI_s/s320/170.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480868004263535794" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_0ZlW0fGI/AAAAAAAAA5A/JiYpPaPDFss/s1600/167.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 193px; height: 130px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_0ZlW0fGI/AAAAAAAAA5A/JiYpPaPDFss/s320/167.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480867991894916194" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_1gqFuRGI/AAAAAAAAA5Q/9b6h7TvOYFQ/s1600/178.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 196px; height: 132px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_1gqFuRGI/AAAAAAAAA5Q/9b6h7TvOYFQ/s200/178.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480869212936094818" border="0" /></a><br />The first night was rough due to exhaustion and some crummy nurses. We had been placed on an overflow floor and it was just not a good experience. The next day we were moved to the mother baby unit and from then on it was fabulous. Again I must say, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Hoag</span> is a terrific hospital.<br /><br />We had lots of visitors! After 4 days we were sent home and were on our own. It's been an adjustment but we are loving our life as party of 3.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_2WDKcjqI/AAAAAAAAA5Y/FeHy00jLgo4/s1600/314.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/TA_2WDKcjqI/AAAAAAAAA5Y/FeHy00jLgo4/s320/314.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480870130199858850" border="0" /></a>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-23430913894677210232010-06-08T20:34:00.001-07:002010-06-08T20:36:57.690-07:00Holy CowWow I didn't realize it's been over 4 months since I updated my blog. I got pretty grumpy the last few months of my pregnancy and blogging was the last thing on my mind. So let me catch you up.<br /><br />As you can tell Ava has arrived! We are overjoyed with our new addition. She is a fabulous baby!! I'm working on my birth story and promise to post it shortly.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-4124731590778186812010-01-25T21:29:00.000-08:002010-01-25T21:40:45.370-08:007 years<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/S16AV3-7J9I/AAAAAAAAA3s/Z39qKAqNzGU/s1600-h/john+and+i+old.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/S16AV3-7J9I/AAAAAAAAA3s/Z39qKAqNzGU/s400/john+and+i+old.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430919313948878802" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Yesterday marked the 7 year anniversary of our first date. Time flies when you're having fun :)Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-26712775585120507522010-01-25T14:55:00.001-08:002010-01-25T21:21:39.226-08:0028 weeks, 1 day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/S157tiBFnuI/AAAAAAAAA3M/b7HD24In8A0/s1600-h/335.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/S157tiBFnuI/AAAAAAAAA3M/b7HD24In8A0/s320/335.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430914222811094754" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I can't believe I'm 28 weeks! Approximately 12 more weeks to go. As much as I'm enjoying this pregnancy I'm looking forward to the end. I can't wait to meet her and I can't wait to wear normal clothes again. I know it will still be awhile after she is born before I can wear my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pre</span>-pregnancy clothes but it will be nice to be working towards getting smaller rather than bigger.<br /><br />This is my third week of unemployment and I've found I'm getting a bit restless. The weather sure hasn't helped. There are things I've wanted to do like go to the dog park or go for walks but instead I've been stuck in the house. Today was better since it was nice out and I was able to take the dogs for a walk. I really think I need to come up with a list of projects to accomplish before baby arrives to have something to focus on.<br /><br />I do have some things coming up that will provide some excitement. This Thursday is my follow-up ultrasound to check on the placenta <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">previa</span>. I'm really excited because I'm dying to see how much she has grown. I'm feeling lots of movement and I'm hoping we'll be able to tell whether it's kicks or punches I'm feeling. The other night my belly felt really tight and I told my friend Kristen to feel how hard my uterus is. She said it was actually either the baby's head or butt because when she pushed it moved away. Since then I've felt it a few times. I can't believe she is big enough to feel from the outside!<br /><br />Next weekend is my first baby shower and then the following week I have my 30 week check up and we begin our child birth classes.<br /><br />I have a feeling time is really going to start flying...Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-90366953591917184742010-01-18T13:09:00.000-08:002010-01-18T13:10:43.007-08:00GD Free!!I passed my glucose tolerance test so no gestational diabetes for me!!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-84019666998388214252010-01-14T20:22:00.000-08:002010-01-14T20:39:12.603-08:00Catching UpWow, I just realized it's been almost 2 months since my last post. A lot sure has happened since then. I'll spare you the soap opera version and use bullets :)<br /><br /><ul><li>found out I have marginal placenta <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">previa</span>. I go back in 2 weeks for an ultrasound and I'm praying it has moved. Then I will be cleared to exercise and do major housework again.</li><li>Hubby got laid off. Total bummer but at the same time he was miserable so it has been a small blessing.</li><li>I got laid off. It's been kind of a relief because I can relax and get ready for baby but at the same time it is stressful with both of us unemployed. I was lucky enough to get a few weeks notice and a good severance.</li></ul><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl60&zw"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 257px; height: 386px;" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl60&zw" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.2&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl81&zw"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 386px;" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.2&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl81&zw" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.3&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl92&zw"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 511px; height: 338px;" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=895786479d&view=att&th=1260cd5393c19d10&attid=0.3&disp=inline&realattid=f_g46n7wl92&zw" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Here I am at 26 weeks and a poll to get you up to speed. Now that I'm not working part of my duty as a housewife will be to keep this thing up to date.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How far along? </span> 26 weeks, 4 days<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Total weight gain/loss:</span>+30lbs. Kill me now. I've made some radical changes to my eating habits so hopefully at my next appointment I haven't gained any more.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Maternity clothes?</span> The only thing I can squeeze into these days.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stretch marks?</span> Nope *fingers crossed* it stays that way<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sleep:</span> Not too bad. I do find I spend a lot of the night switching from side to side. The whole "not being able to sleep on my back" thing is killer on the hips.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Best moment this week: </span>There hasn't been anything in particular, just her constant movements make me happy :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movement:</span> All the time. I think she is having her own dance party in my womb.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Food cravings:</span> Cereal. I've always liked cereal but never craved it or would consider it a meal. Now it's always my go to when I'm hungry.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Gender:</span> We've been told girl 4 times. I'm hoping they are all right :)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Labor Signs: </span>None. I have had started having <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Braxton</span> Hicks contractions but thankfully I know enough to not think I'm in labor<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Belly Button in or out?: </span>Still an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">innie</span>, I'm hoping it pops soon. I think my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">innie</span> makes my bump look more like a gut and less like a baby belly.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What I miss:</span> exercise. Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I watch Biggest Loser and I'm so jealous of their insane workouts.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What I am looking forward to: </span>starting her nursery!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-25382798002415973502009-11-20T12:05:00.000-08:002009-11-20T12:26:59.408-08:00Crunch!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Swb3c9Ig9TI/AAAAAAAAA2A/MZulRQ40nqs/s1600/tahoe.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 189px; HEIGHT: 129px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406280479523534130" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Swb3c9Ig9TI/AAAAAAAAA2A/MZulRQ40nqs/s320/tahoe.jpg" /></a><br />+<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Swb3c6pRnSI/AAAAAAAAA14/jTGhI1xWFtw/s1600/bmw.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 190px; HEIGHT: 115px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406280478855634210" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Swb3c6pRnSI/AAAAAAAAA14/jTGhI1xWFtw/s320/bmw.jpg" /></a><br />= an eventful night!<br /><br />Thanks to the darn 55 freeway traffic I got myself <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">smooshed</span> between two cars. Everyone was fine and my car really isn't that bad. I feel bad for the girl driving the BMW. Her car is really messed up and she felt so terrible for hitting a pregnant girl.<br /><br />We went to the ER just to be on the safe side. Thankfully they were efficient and I was in a bed fairly quickly. If I had been 2 weeks further they would have taken to me Labor and Delivery. I had an ultrasound and baby was doing fine. She was wiggling around without a care in the world. My placenta was free of damage and my cervix was closed.<br /><br />I asked the tech to check the gender and she confirmed it's still a girl!<br /><br />Now just gotta wait to get my car fixed. I hate driving around with a messed up bumper. It broke my parking sensors so now I'm going to have to be <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">uber</span> careful backing up.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-79827790908347064602009-11-17T10:30:00.000-08:002010-01-25T15:09:19.807-08:0018 weeks, 2 days<div>The belly keeps growing!</div><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 188px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 263px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405141851093172642" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/SwLr4DsBgaI/AAAAAAAAA1w/VBF1I29lI4I/s320/1113091721.jpg" /></div><br /><p>I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and everything is great. We go for our big ultrasound on Monday so I'll have some pictures to share.</p>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-71760262792119578532009-11-10T14:44:00.000-08:002009-11-10T14:50:35.282-08:00Note to selfDo not look at old pictures of your previously tan, thin body when you are fat and pregnant. I stupidly looked at our Hawaii pictures and now want to cry my chunky eyes out. I know, I know I'm not fat, I'm pregnant but I'm still allowed to be depressed over my rapidly increasing thighs.<br /><br />It's fine though, they will be motivation getting back into shape after she arrives. Is it too early to start planning my May 2010 meals?<br /><br />In fun baby news, I'm pretty sure I've felt her move. It's not often or super obvious but at least once a day I feel a flutter or small tap. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Wheee</span>!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-18543725438292144022009-11-02T16:05:00.000-08:002009-11-10T14:51:54.056-08:0016 weeksIt's a girl!!!!! My intuition was right :) Now we just need to come to an agreement on the name. I think I have Hubby on board with my first choice but he still needs a little convincing.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Su91kw0-J6I/AAAAAAAAA1g/OW74fcWbucE/s1600-h/16+weeks+edit.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 232px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399663752683333538" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Su91kw0-J6I/AAAAAAAAA1g/OW74fcWbucE/s320/16+weeks+edit.JPG" /></a>Yesterday I hit 16 weeks. So far time is going fairly quickly. I wouldn't say flying but it's not dragging like it was in the beginning.<br /><br /><br />Here is a picture of my belly. I know I'm not supposed to worry about my weight but I'm already freaking out about how fat my face looks. It's the first place I gain weight and I'm afraid going to look disgusting by the end of this pregnancy. I'm just crossing my fingers that it doesn't get any bigger.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-17472362949289168282009-10-26T12:59:00.000-07:002009-11-10T14:52:30.868-08:0015 weeksI can't believe I'm 15 weeks already. I've been feeling a lot better and the nausea is gone for the most part. Unfortunately, I think I'm coming down with the flu. I have a fever and I've been coughing like crazy. It was so bad earlier I threw up :( I called the doctor and they said I'm basically SOL because there is nothing I can take. I was supposed to get a flu shot this afternoon but now I can't. Normally, I wouldn't be worried about being sick but I am already in protective mama mode. I don't want anything to happen to my little belly bean. I know he/she is nice and safe in there but I still worry. Also, I have two very special people who could go into labor any day and I will be heartbroken if I can't see them and their babies in the hospital. So I'm going to take it easy and rest so I can get better.<br /><br />I don't have a belly picture from this week but I do have one from last week. I think I look smaller then the 12 week picture!<br /><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397002640964562322" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 258px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/SuYBTrKJrZI/AAAAAAAAA1Q/V0Oi2FZZH0c/s400/14+weeks.jpg" border="0" />14 weeks</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-57939522542563696942009-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:002009-10-15T23:09:02.693-07:00Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day<div>Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please take a moment and say a prayer for anyone you know who has experienced a loss. As difficult as our miscarriage was I consider us lucky. There are many people who experience multiple and/or late losses. I'm sad thinking about our little baby we never got to hold but I know someday we'll meet again.</div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-15339164257981088212009-10-08T16:52:00.000-07:002009-10-08T17:00:31.590-07:00Perfection<div><div>Our NT scan was great! Everything is measuring perfectly and all of the vital parts are there. It is so amazing how they could tell that there is fluid in her tummy, both sides of the brain present and the positioning of the diaphragm. </div><div></div><br /><div>Hubby and I were both in awe at how active the baby was. Kicking legs and waving hi! The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tech's</span> guess at the gender was...GIRL! She said it's only about 80% accurate so I'm not buying any hair bows or tutus until I get another ultrasound. </div><div></div><br /><div>Here is a picture of our beautiful baby:<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390383014149940754" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 298px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Ss58yrm05hI/AAAAAAAAA1I/UMwX9c9rLmQ/s400/Baby+%40+12+weeks+edit.JPG" border="0" /></div></div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-5298615983752468122009-10-07T17:01:00.000-07:002009-10-07T17:03:26.836-07:00Scheduled NT ScanIt's tomorrow at 2:30pm. I have to be there an hour and a half early to do the blood work portion and then drink 32 ounces of water. I'm going to pee my pants!<br /><br />They will take a guess at the gender and record the ultrasound on a VHS tape. So hopefully I'll have good news and good pictures to post tomorrow!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-83825559642761418052009-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:002009-10-07T13:37:40.638-07:00Rethinking NT ScanOriginally I didn't want to do it because I just don't need to be riled up over something that could be nothing. I'm the type of person that believes if there is a chance of something happening, it's going to happen to me. So you could tell me my chance of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Down's</span> Syndrome is 1/10,000 and I will be convinced up until the day I deliver that I will be that one person.<br /><br />Hubby and I have been talking and it really stresses him out that I won't have another ultrasound (from the doctor's office) until 20 weeks. After our miscarriage, he feels he needs some extra assurance. So we decided we are going to try and schedule the NT scan and just ignore the results. Maybe I'll even give them Hubby's number to call with the results and tell him not to tell me. I do want to hear their guess on the gender though!<br /><br />I'm not sure what the cutoff is for that test so I'm hoping I'm still within the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">time frame</span>. If they could fit me in next week I'll be 13.5 weeks. So hopefully soon I'll have a baby pic to post. I have pics from our first ultrasound at 8 weeks but it is so blurry it's not worth posting, trust me!<br /><br />We will be having a gender ultrasound at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.ultrasoundme.com">Ultrasound Me</a> in Costa Mesa in a few weeks. I'm hoping to schedule it on Halloween! I will be 1 day shy of 16 weeks and it would work out perfectly since it is a Saturday. What a fun Halloween treat that would be!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-90384535037058290062009-10-05T11:36:00.001-07:002009-11-10T14:52:30.868-08:0012 weeks 1 day<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Sso-p42GTWI/AAAAAAAAA04/u_nMl4pEkjU/s1600-h/12+weeks.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389188793457069410" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IniJZ7n6zOw/Sso-p42GTWI/AAAAAAAAA04/u_nMl4pEkjU/s320/12+weeks.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Now that I'm out of the proverbial closet I'm excited to start blogging my pregnancy journey. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The last 2 months have been really difficult. Since 5 weeks I've had "morning" sickness off and on all day every day. I haven't thrown up yet (knock on wood) but have felt on the verge quite often. I'm hoping now that I'm at the 12 week point it will start to taper off. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I am already showing and wearing maternity clothes a lot of the time. Carrying my weight in my stomach + baby bloat means I've puffed up already. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-26108755739301341292009-10-05T11:34:00.000-07:002009-10-05T11:35:36.797-07:00Baby Brock EDD 4.18.10I'm sure you all know but just wanted to make it official!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-351068174710170802009-05-29T13:03:00.000-07:002009-05-29T13:41:24.780-07:00A Game Plan...Sort OfSo I'm 2 weeks post d&c and physically I'm feel pretty good. Luckily, I only bled for 5 days and only had some mild cramping. Emotionally, it's a whole different story. I am relieved it's all over and sad that we went through this but most of all, I'm angry. Like crazy, full or rage, wanting to beat the f*** out of someone angry. I can't stand to hear about the irresponsible people I know who have perfectly healthy kids. I just can't make sense of it all and that makes me even more angry.<br /><br /><br />Over the last week the anger has been getting worse and has begun to consume me. This along with the whole "start trying again or wait" debate has made me a wreck. My head has felt like a sea of a million emotions in the midst of a huge thunderstorm. Feeling pretty hopeless, I went to see our counselor. Hubby and I saw him for our premarital counseling and have gone to see him <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">occasionally</span> over the last 3 years. He is so awesome and always knows how to talk me through a rough situation.<br /><br />The biggest thing he helped me realize is that I'm entitled to every emotion I'm experiencing. Because miscarriage is so common, I have felt guilty for how much this has taken a hold of me. So many times I have told myself I just need to get over it. Then when I get upset, I'm mad at that I've let it get to me. By talking to our counselor, I've learned it's a process and I need to grieve. I think if I fully allow myself to mourn and work through my feelings, eventually I will be healed. I don't think I'll ever be completely over it but I don't think we ever fully get over a loss.<br /><br />I also discussed my feelings about trying again. It scares the living the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">bejeezus</span> out of me to get pregnant any time soon but at the same time I don't want to put it off. He suggested moving my focus away from all things pregnancy related. Focus on all the other things in my life and if it happens it happens. I could easily become obsessed with not getting pregnant and all my fears as much as I could with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">TTC</span>.<br /><br />So now my focus is going to be on losing some weight, spending time with Hubby and enjoying all of things that child-free life has to offer. I know when I do get <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">KU</span> again, I will be scared. Especially because I had absolutely no physical warning signs. But <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">at least</span> I know miscarriage is something I can survive. I remember thinking before the miscarriage that there is no way I could handle one. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.<br /><br />So the gameplan is to have no gameplan and just live life. That's something I can do!Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-53032825088507663772009-05-20T11:34:00.001-07:002009-05-20T11:37:43.592-07:00My heart hurtsI can't explain it any other way. We were at Rite Aid last night and saw an incredibly young girl ready to pop. Her and her pants sagging boyfriend could not have been over 16. I wanted to scream at her. I just don't get it. Why her and not me?<br /><br />Ok, gotta focus on the positive. I'm on day 3 of sticking to WW and am going to go to the step aerobics class at the gym. I haven't been in forever and I'm actually looking forward to it.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-65809926891892856512009-05-19T14:53:00.000-07:002009-05-19T15:20:06.253-07:00Back on the wagonYesterday was my first day back on track. Aside being back on WW, I went to the gym. Usually on Mondays I would take a SET class that is a mix of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">cardio</span> and weights. I knew that there is no way I could even keep up and I didn't want to be discouraged. So I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">just</span> went to the gym and did some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cardio</span>. I did 15 minutes on the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">elliptical</span>, 15 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes on the treadmill. I kept having these negative thoughts about how out of shape I've gotten but I had to keep reminding myself that it's in the past and all I can do is move forward. It's either that or wallow in self pity and keep expanding. Our anniversary is 6 weeks from tomorrow and I'm determined to be down 10 pounds by then.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-30794171878903819712009-05-16T17:29:00.000-07:002009-05-16T17:55:32.575-07:00Moving onFirst of all, I have to say I am so incredibly grateful for every one of your thoughtful comments. I feel so incredibly lucky to be "surrounded" by such great people. All of your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated and I know I am going to make it through this.<br /><br />Yesterday (Friday) was the d&c. I really think the worst part was not being able to eat or drink anything after midnight on Thursday. They really mean nothing. The instructions even said chewing gum was out of the question.<br /><br />So I tried my best to sleep in and relax before we had to leave. We needed to leave the house by 11:15 so I enjoyed The Price is Right and then got ready to go. As I was walking to the car, a mother eff<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ing</span> bug flew in my ear! It went straight in there and would not come out. I could feel it flitting around. After nearly killing my eardrum, I was able to get it out with a q-tip. I started crying. It was one of those <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">FML</span> moments.<br /><br />After the bug debacle, we were off to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Hoag</span> Outpatient Surgery Center, which funny enough is not at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hoag</span> but across the street. Since we are <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ballers</span>, we valet parked. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ok</span>, we are actually lazy and parking is a total <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">biotch</span> so we took the easy route. When we got into the front office, I had to sign a bunch of paperwork and that is when it sunk in. It's over, there is officially no hope of discovering later that they were wrong and there is a healthy baby growing inside of me. At that point, I lost it.<br /><br />I blubbered the whole way as they got me ready for the surgery and went over the procedure. I don't know why but I kept apologizing. I was emotional plus starving and I just couldn't keep it in. Everyone there was really understanding and only once person decided to inform me that everything happens for a reason. She even prefaced it with, "I know you don't want to hear this." I contemplated punching her but I didn't want to rip out my IV.<br /><br />After waiting for what felt like an eternity, they shot me up with a fabulous cocktail and within seconds I was giggling like a school girl. After that they wheeled me back and I don't remember anything from that point. The next thing I knew, I was in recovery. I didn't feel too bad, just a little bit of cramping. They gave me some pain medication and I quickly felt better. After about half an hour, they wheeled me to the car and we were on our way home. I dined on some fabulous mac and cheese and napped for awhile. Later, I was actually feeling pretty good so we went to dinner with some friends. Today, I've just been taking it easy. My parents brought us lunch and I've been working on some sewing projects I've been putting off.<br /><br />So all and all, I survived and I'm so glad I went with the d&c. Even as of yesterday morning, I hadn't had any bleeding or cramping so who knows how long it would have taken my body to naturally miscarry. It really baffles me that my body still hadn't realized that the baby stopped growing. I guess it's a good thing that my body tried so hard to hold on. I don't know if it really means something but it makes me feel better.<br /><br />As far as moving forward and trying again, I'm really unsure. The NP we saw right after we found out said we should wait 1 to 2 cycles and the doctor told me 2 to 3 cycles. Everything I've read said it isn't any riskier to get pregnant right away. I've heard a few stories of friends of friends who got pregnant their first cycle after the miscarriage and their babies are fine. So I'm not sure what to do. I want to do what is best but if there really isn't any reason to wait, I'd rather not. It took us a few months the first time anyways so who knows if I would even get pregnant right away. I guess I have some time to figure it out, I was given a list of things I can't do for 2 weeks and that includes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">doin</span>' it. Lucky for hubby, 2 weeks ends on his birthday :)Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3805428208401061262.post-69252745194500504302009-05-13T17:45:00.000-07:002009-05-14T10:07:14.656-07:00Not the return to blogging I had hoped forI haven't blogged in awhile and had hoped to return with a great announcement. At the end of March I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, at our appointment last Friday, when I should have been 10 weeks, we found out the baby had stopped growing at 6 1/2 weeks. I can honestly say this was the worst moment of my life. From the moment I got the positive result on the home pregnancy test, I had the fear that something like this would happen. I think every pregnant woman has this fear. Sadly my fears became a reality.<br /><br />I can't help but be a mix of emotions. Beyond being incredibly sad, I'm angry. Why me? When so many irresponsible people get pregnant on accident and deliver a healthy baby, why do I not even make it out of the first trimester? I don't begrudge anyone I care about a baby but I just can't make sense out of how God decides which babies will make it and which ones won't.<br />I have a <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/dandc.html">D&C</a> scheduled for Friday and I think after that I will actually feel better. That way it will be done and we can move on and start trying again in a few months. Right now I'm just in limbo, trapped in a body that still thinks it's pregnant. I'm still dealing with the occasional nausea but now there is no light at the end of the tunnel to get me through it.<br /><br />In order to keep myself from slitting my wrists vertically, I'm trying to focus on the positives. I had only gone off the pill 2 months prior to getting pregnant. So I am so thankful to even be able to get pregnant in the first place. I know of some people dealing with infertility and my heart breaks for them. Thankfully I'm still young so I don't have my biological clock ticking loudly in my ear.<br /><br />My <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">game plan</span> is get my butt back in shape. In the months we were trying, I really slacked because I figured, "What's the point? Eventually I'll be pregnant and it won't matter." Then once I became pregnant, I got a ton of bloat. I didn't gain any weight but my belly became a fat, squishy bump. So my goal is to get back into my old workout routine and get serious about WW again. Hopefully I can start my next pregnancy a lot lighter than I started this one.<br /><br />I'm so incredibly lucky, I have some great friends and family who have been supportive. Even though it's hard to "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">untell</span>" people, I'm glad there were people who knew. I can't imagine going through this without anyone knowing. Even if I could do it all over again I would still tell those closest to me because they are the ones helping me get through it. Hubby has been absolutely amazing. Even though he's really <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">disappointed</span>, he's been so selfless and supportive.<br />So all in all, I'm doing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ok</span>. I know we'll survive and one way or another we'll have kids someday.<br /><br />Oh by the way, if you ever encounter a woman who has gone through a miscarriage, please refrain from saying, "Everything happens for a reason." The next person who tells me that is getting punched in the throat.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16316831421361238409noreply@blogger.com21