Blonde Ambition

Fathers Day

2010-06-23T16:10:00.001-07:00

Every year John spends Fathers Day at the LA Roadster show with his dad so they headed off to that in the morning. Next year Ava should be able to go along with them!

That afternoon we had John's parents over for a late lunch before the headed off on vacation. Ava was very excited for Daddy to open his gifts!

Ava and Daddy

Ava, Daddy and Papa John

My dad was out of town on Fathers Day so we are going to celebrate soon.

Back on the Wagon

2010-06-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it, I was not careful while I was pregnant and gained 55 pounds. As much as I tried not to, I gave into the "I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want" mentality. At my 2 week postpartum appointment I was down 25 pounds. When I went back for my six week appointment my weight was the same. I guess I'm one of the unlucky ones that didn't lose weight breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding was something that just didn't end up working for us. Ava wasn't gaining weight and we had to supplement with formula. Even when I would breastfeed her, she would be starving right after. So I made the decision at 4 weeks that I was going to stop breastfeeding at 8 weeks. So for those 4 weeks, I pumped as much as I could and stocked up our freezer. So even though I am no longer producing breast milk, Ava is still getting some. She is doing great on this formula/ breast milk combo and is growing like a weed. Besides not gaining weight those first few weeks, she started off small so she has some catching up to do. We go back to the pediatrician in 2 weeks so we'll know then how much she has gained.

Monday was 8 weeks. With breastfeeding no longer a concern, I was free to start working out and doing Weight Watchers without worrying about my milk supply. So far things are going well. I've stayed within my points and stuck to my workout plan.

I'm really trying to maintain a positive attitude since I have so much to lose. I have 30 pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and then I'd like to lose another 25 to get back to what I was at my smallest, a year and a half ago. It's easy to think it's such a huge undertaking but I'm instead trying to focus on reclaiming my old lifestyle.

The first 6 weeks

2010-06-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

Her first six weeks have been amazing and overwhelming but we are loving every minute. It seems like she is changing every day! Here are some highlights from the first six weeks.

She loves to snooze.

First Doctor's appointment. She was back to her birth weight and grew half an inch at her 1 week appointment.

Mothers Day

First bath

Car show in Santa Maria for daddy's birthday.

One month old. 8 pounds, 3 oz and 21.25 inches.

Birth Story

2010-06-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

At my 40 week appointment, baby still showed no signs of coming. So we scheduled my induction for the following Monday, 41 weeks and 1 day. I woke up at 5am to call to see if they had room to induce me that day. Thankfully there was a bed available so we headed in at 7am, our scheduled time.

When we got there, we signed our paperwork and were taken straight back to a room. Side note, Hoag is an amazing hospital. Labor is easier with a view of Balboa and the ocean.

Our nurse came in soon after and started the pitocin. The contractions began but were not bad. As time went on they definitely got stronger. I think the worst part was her head banging on my cervix with each contraction. The last few weeks of my pregnancy she was so low in the birth canal, I swear I felt like she was going to fall out.

At 9am, the doctor came in to break my water and put a monitor in Ava's head to better track her heart rate. For some reason, this freaked me out. Not the monitor thing, just the fact that things were moving so fast. When you go overdue with a baby, you spend a lot of time waiting. Also, we were warned that we may spend part of that day waiting if they didn't have a room available. So here I had waited for so long and then all of the sudden things were moving FAST.

When the doctor broke my water, there was meconium. It's gross so if you are curious, look it up. This scared me but my nurse reassured me that it was common. To combat this they inserted a catheter to flush out my uterus. The catheter also monitored my contractions so this meant I was free from the monitors on my belly. Hooray!

After my water was broken, the contractions started worsening and the pain was becoming really bad. I'd been warned to ask early for the epidural because sometimes it can take awhile for the anesthesiologist to come. So when it was offered, I said yes. I swear the anesthesiologist was lurking outside the door because 2 seconds later she was there. She was fabulous and the epidural was virtually pain free. I'm a big needlephobe and I have to say the IV was actually more painful. I felt better almost instantly. Not only physically but mentally. It was really the breath of fresh air I needed because I was getting pretty discouraged. I am very lucky that the epidural took really well and I didn't feel anything.

After that, things were progressing steadily, 1 cm every hour. By4pm I was 6cm dilated. I figured she would be here between 9 and 10pm. Around 430pm Ava's heart rate started dropping so the nurse turned off the pitocin and gave me some oxygen.

Her heart rate returned to normal so the pitocin was turned back on at half the rate it was before. Her heart rate dropped again so the pitocin was turned off. At 5pm the nurse received a call from my doctor and she decided to take it in the nurse's station. I knew something was up. The nurse came back and gently informed me the best decision was a c-section. Although I knew it was a possibility all along I began to panic. I asked John to get my mom from the waiting room, I knew she would have the words to calm me. She had all 3 of us kids via c-section. After talking to her I knew everything would be alright.

We waited about an hour for my doctor to arrive from her office in Huntington Beach. She got there around 6pm and we were off to the OR to get ready. I was really nervous but thankfully the same anesthesiologist who did my epidural was in for my c-section. Not only did she talk me through everything, she kept me calm and even took the photos for us. The c-section was a breeze and although I've never experienced a regular delivery, I enjoyed being able to take in everything going on without doing any of the work :)

At 6:35pm Ava made her entrance into the world. It was the most amazing, breathtaking moment of my life. Her cry was beautiful!

The doctor had thought maybe the reason her heart rate was dropping was because she was really big but she weighed in at only 7lbs 2 oz!

After stitching me up we were taken to the recovery room where I got to hold her again and do skin to skin contact.

An hour later we were taken to our room and after a short trip to the nursery for some suctioning (she had a lot of fluid) she was introduced to all of her eager grandparents, aunts and uncles.

The first night was rough due to exhaustion and some crummy nurses. We had been placed on an overflow floor and it was just not a good experience. The next day we were moved to the mother baby unit and from then on it was fabulous. Again I must say, Hoag is a terrific hospital.

We had lots of visitors! After 4 days we were sent home and were on our own. It's been an adjustment but we are loving our life as party of 3.

Holy Cow

2010-06-08T20:34:00.001-07:00

Wow I didn't realize it's been over 4 months since I updated my blog. I got pretty grumpy the last few months of my pregnancy and blogging was the last thing on my mind. So let me catch you up.

As you can tell Ava has arrived! We are overjoyed with our new addition. She is a fabulous baby!! I'm working on my birth story and promise to post it shortly.

7 years

2010-01-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked the 7 year anniversary of our first date. Time flies when you're having fun :)

28 weeks, 1 day

2010-01-25T14:55:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I'm 28 weeks! Approximately 12 more weeks to go. As much as I'm enjoying this pregnancy I'm looking forward to the end. I can't wait to meet her and I can't wait to wear normal clothes again. I know it will still be awhile after she is born before I can wear my pre-pregnancy clothes but it will be nice to be working towards getting smaller rather than bigger.

This is my third week of unemployment and I've found I'm getting a bit restless. The weather sure hasn't helped. There are things I've wanted to do like go to the dog park or go for walks but instead I've been stuck in the house. Today was better since it was nice out and I was able to take the dogs for a walk. I really think I need to come up with a list of projects to accomplish before baby arrives to have something to focus on.

I do have some things coming up that will provide some excitement. This Thursday is my follow-up ultrasound to check on the placenta previa. I'm really excited because I'm dying to see how much she has grown. I'm feeling lots of movement and I'm hoping we'll be able to tell whether it's kicks or punches I'm feeling. The other night my belly felt really tight and I told my friend Kristen to feel how hard my uterus is. She said it was actually either the baby's head or butt because when she pushed it moved away. Since then I've felt it a few times. I can't believe she is big enough to feel from the outside!

Next weekend is my first baby shower and then the following week I have my 30 week check up and we begin our child birth classes.

I have a feeling time is really going to start flying...

GD Free!!

2010-01-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

I passed my glucose tolerance test so no gestational diabetes for me!!

Catching Up

2010-01-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, I just realized it's been almost 2 months since my last post. A lot sure has happened since then. I'll spare you the soap opera version and use bullets :)

found out I have marginal placenta previa. I go back in 2 weeks for an ultrasound and I'm praying it has moved. Then I will be cleared to exercise and do major housework again.
Hubby got laid off. Total bummer but at the same time he was miserable so it has been a small blessing.
I got laid off. It's been kind of a relief because I can relax and get ready for baby but at the same time it is stressful with both of us unemployed. I was lucky enough to get a few weeks notice and a good severance.

Here I am at 26 weeks and a poll to get you up to speed. Now that I'm not working part of my duty as a housewife will be to keep this thing up to date.

How far along? 26 weeks, 4 days

Total weight gain/loss:+30lbs. Kill me now. I've made some radical changes to my eating habits so hopefully at my next appointment I haven't gained any more.

Maternity clothes? The only thing I can squeeze into these days.

Stretch marks? Nope *fingers crossed* it stays that way

Sleep: Not too bad. I do find I spend a lot of the night switching from side to side. The whole "not being able to sleep on my back" thing is killer on the hips.

Best moment this week: There hasn't been anything in particular, just her constant movements make me happy :)

Movement: All the time. I think she is having her own dance party in my womb.

Food cravings: Cereal. I've always liked cereal but never craved it or would consider it a meal. Now it's always my go to when I'm hungry.

Gender: We've been told girl 4 times. I'm hoping they are all right :)

Labor Signs: None. I have had started having Braxton Hicks contractions but thankfully I know enough to not think I'm in labor

Belly Button in or out?: Still an innie, I'm hoping it pops soon. I think my innie makes my bump look more like a gut and less like a baby belly.

What I miss: exercise. Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I watch Biggest Loser and I'm so jealous of their insane workouts.

What I am looking forward to: starting her nursery!

Crunch!

2009-11-20T12:05:00.000-08:00

+

= an eventful night!

Thanks to the darn 55 freeway traffic I got myself smooshed between two cars. Everyone was fine and my car really isn't that bad. I feel bad for the girl driving the BMW. Her car is really messed up and she felt so terrible for hitting a pregnant girl.

We went to the ER just to be on the safe side. Thankfully they were efficient and I was in a bed fairly quickly. If I had been 2 weeks further they would have taken to me Labor and Delivery. I had an ultrasound and baby was doing fine. She was wiggling around without a care in the world. My placenta was free of damage and my cervix was closed.

I asked the tech to check the gender and she confirmed it's still a girl!

Now just gotta wait to get my car fixed. I hate driving around with a messed up bumper. It broke my parking sensors so now I'm going to have to be uber careful backing up.

18 weeks, 2 days

2009-11-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

The belly keeps growing!

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and everything is great. We go for our big ultrasound on Monday so I'll have some pictures to share.

Note to self

2009-11-10T14:44:00.000-08:00

Do not look at old pictures of your previously tan, thin body when you are fat and pregnant. I stupidly looked at our Hawaii pictures and now want to cry my chunky eyes out. I know, I know I'm not fat, I'm pregnant but I'm still allowed to be depressed over my rapidly increasing thighs.

It's fine though, they will be motivation getting back into shape after she arrives. Is it too early to start planning my May 2010 meals?

In fun baby news, I'm pretty sure I've felt her move. It's not often or super obvious but at least once a day I feel a flutter or small tap. Wheee!

16 weeks

2009-11-02T16:05:00.000-08:00

It's a girl!!!!! My intuition was right :) Now we just need to come to an agreement on the name. I think I have Hubby on board with my first choice but he still needs a little convincing.

Yesterday I hit 16 weeks. So far time is going fairly quickly. I wouldn't say flying but it's not dragging like it was in the beginning.

Here is a picture of my belly. I know I'm not supposed to worry about my weight but I'm already freaking out about how fat my face looks. It's the first place I gain weight and I'm afraid going to look disgusting by the end of this pregnancy. I'm just crossing my fingers that it doesn't get any bigger.

15 weeks

2009-10-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm 15 weeks already. I've been feeling a lot better and the nausea is gone for the most part. Unfortunately, I think I'm coming down with the flu. I have a fever and I've been coughing like crazy. It was so bad earlier I threw up :( I called the doctor and they said I'm basically SOL because there is nothing I can take. I was supposed to get a flu shot this afternoon but now I can't. Normally, I wouldn't be worried about being sick but I am already in protective mama mode. I don't want anything to happen to my little belly bean. I know he/she is nice and safe in there but I still worry. Also, I have two very special people who could go into labor any day and I will be heartbroken if I can't see them and their babies in the hospital. So I'm going to take it easy and rest so I can get better.

I don't have a belly picture from this week but I do have one from last week. I think I look smaller then the 12 week picture!

14 weeks

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2009-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please take a moment and say a prayer for anyone you know who has experienced a loss. As difficult as our miscarriage was I consider us lucky. There are many people who experience multiple and/or late losses. I'm sad thinking about our little baby we never got to hold but I know someday we'll meet again.

Perfection

2009-10-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

Our NT scan was great! Everything is measuring perfectly and all of the vital parts are there. It is so amazing how they could tell that there is fluid in her tummy, both sides of the brain present and the positioning of the diaphragm.

Hubby and I were both in awe at how active the baby was. Kicking legs and waving hi! The tech's guess at the gender was...GIRL! She said it's only about 80% accurate so I'm not buying any hair bows or tutus until I get another ultrasound.

Here is a picture of our beautiful baby:

Scheduled NT Scan

2009-10-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

It's tomorrow at 2:30pm. I have to be there an hour and a half early to do the blood work portion and then drink 32 ounces of water. I'm going to pee my pants!

They will take a guess at the gender and record the ultrasound on a VHS tape. So hopefully I'll have good news and good pictures to post tomorrow!

Rethinking NT Scan

2009-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

Originally I didn't want to do it because I just don't need to be riled up over something that could be nothing. I'm the type of person that believes if there is a chance of something happening, it's going to happen to me. So you could tell me my chance of Down's Syndrome is 1/10,000 and I will be convinced up until the day I deliver that I will be that one person.

Hubby and I have been talking and it really stresses him out that I won't have another ultrasound (from the doctor's office) until 20 weeks. After our miscarriage, he feels he needs some extra assurance. So we decided we are going to try and schedule the NT scan and just ignore the results. Maybe I'll even give them Hubby's number to call with the results and tell him not to tell me. I do want to hear their guess on the gender though!

I'm not sure what the cutoff is for that test so I'm hoping I'm still within the time frame. If they could fit me in next week I'll be 13.5 weeks. So hopefully soon I'll have a baby pic to post. I have pics from our first ultrasound at 8 weeks but it is so blurry it's not worth posting, trust me!

We will be having a gender ultrasound at Ultrasound Me in Costa Mesa in a few weeks. I'm hoping to schedule it on Halloween! I will be 1 day shy of 16 weeks and it would work out perfectly since it is a Saturday. What a fun Halloween treat that would be!

12 weeks 1 day

2009-10-05T11:36:00.001-07:00

Now that I'm out of the proverbial closet I'm excited to start blogging my pregnancy journey.

The last 2 months have been really difficult. Since 5 weeks I've had "morning" sickness off and on all day every day. I haven't thrown up yet (knock on wood) but have felt on the verge quite often. I'm hoping now that I'm at the 12 week point it will start to taper off.

I am already showing and wearing maternity clothes a lot of the time. Carrying my weight in my stomach + baby bloat means I've puffed up already.

Baby Brock EDD 4.18.10

2009-10-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you all know but just wanted to make it official!

A Game Plan...Sort Of

2009-05-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

So I'm 2 weeks post d&c and physically I'm feel pretty good. Luckily, I only bled for 5 days and only had some mild cramping. Emotionally, it's a whole different story. I am relieved it's all over and sad that we went through this but most of all, I'm angry. Like crazy, full or rage, wanting to beat the f*** out of someone angry. I can't stand to hear about the irresponsible people I know who have perfectly healthy kids. I just can't make sense of it all and that makes me even more angry.

Over the last week the anger has been getting worse and has begun to consume me. This along with the whole "start trying again or wait" debate has made me a wreck. My head has felt like a sea of a million emotions in the midst of a huge thunderstorm. Feeling pretty hopeless, I went to see our counselor. Hubby and I saw him for our premarital counseling and have gone to see him occasionally over the last 3 years. He is so awesome and always knows how to talk me through a rough situation.

The biggest thing he helped me realize is that I'm entitled to every emotion I'm experiencing. Because miscarriage is so common, I have felt guilty for how much this has taken a hold of me. So many times I have told myself I just need to get over it. Then when I get upset, I'm mad at that I've let it get to me. By talking to our counselor, I've learned it's a process and I need to grieve. I think if I fully allow myself to mourn and work through my feelings, eventually I will be healed. I don't think I'll ever be completely over it but I don't think we ever fully get over a loss.

I also discussed my feelings about trying again. It scares the living the bejeezus out of me to get pregnant any time soon but at the same time I don't want to put it off. He suggested moving my focus away from all things pregnancy related. Focus on all the other things in my life and if it happens it happens. I could easily become obsessed with not getting pregnant and all my fears as much as I could with TTC.

So now my focus is going to be on losing some weight, spending time with Hubby and enjoying all of things that child-free life has to offer. I know when I do get KU again, I will be scared. Especially because I had absolutely no physical warning signs. But at least I know miscarriage is something I can survive. I remember thinking before the miscarriage that there is no way I could handle one. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.

So the gameplan is to have no gameplan and just live life. That's something I can do!

My heart hurts

2009-05-20T11:34:00.001-07:00

I can't explain it any other way. We were at Rite Aid last night and saw an incredibly young girl ready to pop. Her and her pants sagging boyfriend could not have been over 16. I wanted to scream at her. I just don't get it. Why her and not me?

Ok, gotta focus on the positive. I'm on day 3 of sticking to WW and am going to go to the step aerobics class at the gym. I haven't been in forever and I'm actually looking forward to it.

Back on the wagon

2009-05-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day back on track. Aside being back on WW, I went to the gym. Usually on Mondays I would take a SET class that is a mix of cardio and weights. I knew that there is no way I could even keep up and I didn't want to be discouraged. So I just went to the gym and did some cardio. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes on the treadmill. I kept having these negative thoughts about how out of shape I've gotten but I had to keep reminding myself that it's in the past and all I can do is move forward. It's either that or wallow in self pity and keep expanding. Our anniversary is 6 weeks from tomorrow and I'm determined to be down 10 pounds by then.

Moving on

2009-05-16T17:29:00.000-07:00

First of all, I have to say I am so incredibly grateful for every one of your thoughtful comments. I feel so incredibly lucky to be "surrounded" by such great people. All of your thoughts and prayers are so appreciated and I know I am going to make it through this.

Yesterday (Friday) was the d&c. I really think the worst part was not being able to eat or drink anything after midnight on Thursday. They really mean nothing. The instructions even said chewing gum was out of the question.

So I tried my best to sleep in and relax before we had to leave. We needed to leave the house by 11:15 so I enjoyed The Price is Right and then got ready to go. As I was walking to the car, a mother effing bug flew in my ear! It went straight in there and would not come out. I could feel it flitting around. After nearly killing my eardrum, I was able to get it out with a q-tip. I started crying. It was one of those FML moments.

After the bug debacle, we were off to the Hoag Outpatient Surgery Center, which funny enough is not at Hoag but across the street. Since we are ballers, we valet parked. Ok, we are actually lazy and parking is a total biotch so we took the easy route. When we got into the front office, I had to sign a bunch of paperwork and that is when it sunk in. It's over, there is officially no hope of discovering later that they were wrong and there is a healthy baby growing inside of me. At that point, I lost it.

I blubbered the whole way as they got me ready for the surgery and went over the procedure. I don't know why but I kept apologizing. I was emotional plus starving and I just couldn't keep it in. Everyone there was really understanding and only once person decided to inform me that everything happens for a reason. She even prefaced it with, "I know you don't want to hear this." I contemplated punching her but I didn't want to rip out my IV.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, they shot me up with a fabulous cocktail and within seconds I was giggling like a school girl. After that they wheeled me back and I don't remember anything from that point. The next thing I knew, I was in recovery. I didn't feel too bad, just a little bit of cramping. They gave me some pain medication and I quickly felt better. After about half an hour, they wheeled me to the car and we were on our way home. I dined on some fabulous mac and cheese and napped for awhile. Later, I was actually feeling pretty good so we went to dinner with some friends. Today, I've just been taking it easy. My parents brought us lunch and I've been working on some sewing projects I've been putting off.

So all and all, I survived and I'm so glad I went with the d&c. Even as of yesterday morning, I hadn't had any bleeding or cramping so who knows how long it would have taken my body to naturally miscarry. It really baffles me that my body still hadn't realized that the baby stopped growing. I guess it's a good thing that my body tried so hard to hold on. I don't know if it really means something but it makes me feel better.

As far as moving forward and trying again, I'm really unsure. The NP we saw right after we found out said we should wait 1 to 2 cycles and the doctor told me 2 to 3 cycles. Everything I've read said it isn't any riskier to get pregnant right away. I've heard a few stories of friends of friends who got pregnant their first cycle after the miscarriage and their babies are fine. So I'm not sure what to do. I want to do what is best but if there really isn't any reason to wait, I'd rather not. It took us a few months the first time anyways so who knows if I would even get pregnant right away. I guess I have some time to figure it out, I was given a list of things I can't do for 2 weeks and that includes doin' it. Lucky for hubby, 2 weeks ends on his birthday :)

Not the return to blogging I had hoped for

2009-05-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile and had hoped to return with a great announcement. At the end of March I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, at our appointment last Friday, when I should have been 10 weeks, we found out the baby had stopped growing at 6 1/2 weeks. I can honestly say this was the worst moment of my life. From the moment I got the positive result on the home pregnancy test, I had the fear that something like this would happen. I think every pregnant woman has this fear. Sadly my fears became a reality.

I can't help but be a mix of emotions. Beyond being incredibly sad, I'm angry. Why me? When so many irresponsible people get pregnant on accident and deliver a healthy baby, why do I not even make it out of the first trimester? I don't begrudge anyone I care about a baby but I just can't make sense out of how God decides which babies will make it and which ones won't.
I have a D&C scheduled for Friday and I think after that I will actually feel better. That way it will be done and we can move on and start trying again in a few months. Right now I'm just in limbo, trapped in a body that still thinks it's pregnant. I'm still dealing with the occasional nausea but now there is no light at the end of the tunnel to get me through it.

In order to keep myself from slitting my wrists vertically, I'm trying to focus on the positives. I had only gone off the pill 2 months prior to getting pregnant. So I am so thankful to even be able to get pregnant in the first place. I know of some people dealing with infertility and my heart breaks for them. Thankfully I'm still young so I don't have my biological clock ticking loudly in my ear.

My game plan is get my butt back in shape. In the months we were trying, I really slacked because I figured, "What's the point? Eventually I'll be pregnant and it won't matter." Then once I became pregnant, I got a ton of bloat. I didn't gain any weight but my belly became a fat, squishy bump. So my goal is to get back into my old workout routine and get serious about WW again. Hopefully I can start my next pregnancy a lot lighter than I started this one.

I'm so incredibly lucky, I have some great friends and family who have been supportive. Even though it's hard to "untell" people, I'm glad there were people who knew. I can't imagine going through this without anyone knowing. Even if I could do it all over again I would still tell those closest to me because they are the ones helping me get through it. Hubby has been absolutely amazing. Even though he's really disappointed, he's been so selfless and supportive.
So all in all, I'm doing ok. I know we'll survive and one way or another we'll have kids someday.

Oh by the way, if you ever encounter a woman who has gone through a miscarriage, please refrain from saying, "Everything happens for a reason." The next person who tells me that is getting punched in the throat.

2009-03-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

Check out this awesome blog! Just goes to show you anything is possible. You can enter to win some free snacks too!

Slitting my wrists vertically

2009-03-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I went to Weight Watchers for the first time in four months and it was absolutely tragic. Such a crummy reminder that this is something I'm going to have to do for the rest of my life. Not fair, not fair! After I had a pity party for myself I decided I have to just move forward. I'm still far from what I was when I started so I can either get it in control now or be even further up THE creek (you know what creek I mean, the one that is a synonym for poop).

The awesome part of my depressing return to WW is that hubby went with me. He's doing awesome! I have to remind him to use all of his points because he's actually having a hard time doing so. He does get double the amount of points I do so maybe I would have a hard time eating them all if I were him. Last night at dinner, he did kindly offer to give me some but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

Awesome Hair and Makeup Artist

2009-03-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

My friend Rachael just launched her own H&M business! She has worked at other H&M companies but now is branching out on her own. She is fabulous! Check out her website Charmed Beauty. Look at some of her fabulous work on a fabulous model ;)

Thai Style Chicken and Rice Noodles

2009-03-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a food review in a long time as I have been majorly off the wagon. Today I am determined to be back on track. So this is what I had for lunch! It was so yummy and didn't taste at all like a frozen meal. The only thing that would have made it better would have been more veggies.

5 Points
Calories: 260
Calories from Fat 35
Total Fat4g
Saturated Fat 0.5g
Monounsaturated Fat 1.5g
Polyunsaturated Fat 1g
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 25mg
Sodium 570mg
Total Carbohydrate 43g
Dietary Fiber 2g
Sugars 9g
Protein 14g

Roaming in Los Angeles

2009-02-27T16:00:00.001-08:00

The friday before Hubby started his new job, I took the day off so we could spend some time together. We decided to go up to Hollywood and roam around since I had never really done the whole touristy thing. It was pretty rainy so we didn't get to do much but we did hit up the Guiness World Record Museum:

Mann's Chinese Theater:

And the Hollywood Wax Museum:

We parked at the Hollywood & Highland Center and on our way to the car what did I spy with my little eye? I spotted a Beard Papa's! Or Bearded Papa's as I like to call it since that's what FGD first told me.

So.effing.good

We took our cream puffs to go and enjoyed them in the car. After that we went to downtown LA and found the Grand Central Market. We got some good produce and ate some yummy Chinese food.

Hubby had never been to China town so we headed there in search of some tortugas as we call them.

He kept calling my SIL to ask where she got her turtles and the best way to ask for them. I was so confused and I finally told him to just ask someone in one of the stores. Little did I know, they are illegal. After wandering a little marketplace, we found someone selling them and picked out our new pets, Byong Sun (the kid from kicking and screaming) and Beam (Hubby's friend from Japan, because it's all the same right? j/k). After that we headed home and the next day was Valentine's day, and you know how that went :)

Life just got even better

2009-02-16T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hubby surprised me with two things on Valentine's Day:

This

and

This

On Saturday morning, Hubby rushed off because he had to take care of an errand. I didn't think much of it and lounged around. He called me like 2 hours later and said we had to go somewhere. So I got ready quickly and we headed off. As we were pulling off of the freeway, he made me close my eyes. We were getting off the 55 at Harbor so I figured maybe Ikea? We need a few inexpensive pieces for our living room so I would have been fine with that! After a few minutes we pulled in somewhere and he led me out of the car. All of the sudden I heard a car start(remote start!!!) and he had me open my eyes. There was my beautiful new car in front of me! Then I opened the center console and the Itouch was in there. He engraved it on the back, "Happy Valentine's Day Mrs. Brock 2009. I love you." That night we went to Roy's in Newport Beach and had an awesome dinner. It was seriously the best Valentine's Day ever.

BTW, I'm not in some retro marriage where he makes all of the decisions. We have been car shopping for awhile and he knew this was exactly the car I wanted.

Life is good...

2009-02-12T10:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in awhile...Things were pretty crappy during the end of 2008/beginning of 2009 and so with a lot of weight on my shoulders, I didn't feel like talking about it. So as to not ramble, I will make a list of all of the wonderful things in my life.

1. Hubby has a job! He got the offer a few weeks ago but it was contingent on him passing the state's insurance license exam. He starts Monday. Woot Woot!!

2. I got promoted! It's bittersweet because it's due to a co-worker losing her job. She had some serious issues to work and luckily her family has kept us in the loop. She is getting the help she needs.

3. My parents found new renters for their house. The previous renters moved out at the end of December without paying December's rent. What makes me the most angry is that these people moved into this house because the home they owned was being foreclosed on. Some how after many months of not paying their mortgage, the bank is letting them keep the house. So they screwed my parents and just moved. Ugh, it's so disgusting how some people have no sense of responsibility. My parents were really stressing but thankfully they had new renters shortly after. I swear if I ever see their previous tenants I will kick them in the shins.

4. My parents have a new adorable little puppy, Holly. We had to have our family dog, Sierra of 13 years put to sleep in April, which was terribly traumatic for all of us, especially my mom. Now that us kids are grown, her dogs are like her children. They have another dog, Tessa who is five and she really needed a friend. She was so lonely without Sierra. So they were finally ready to bring a puppy home. They got her right before Christmas and she is the cutest thing ever. Bailey already loved going to my parents' house to play with their older dog. So now he has two dogs to play with and he LOVES it. Although now that the puppy is bigger than him, he's realizing he needs some new moves.

5. Our new house is fabulous. We are finally feeling settled and loving how much space we have.

6. I'm back in a workout routine and feeling so much better. I was really down on myself and ready to throw in the towel a few weeks ago.

7. Our dogs are the best. Well that has never changed. They have been the one constant that always comforted us when things got tough. Sorry that wasn't very brief! So in a nutshell, life is good. I feel rejuvenated and refreshed for what lies ahead. I plan on blogging more frequently now that I have some normalcy in my life. Cheers to 2009!

2009-01-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

I've started reading a new book, Refuse to Regain. It's all about helping those looking to maintain weight loss. Since I have found support for maintaining so difficult to come by, I was excited to find this book. In the first chapter, the author presents some statistics that are pretty crazy.

So I basically have a better chance of getting into medical school than keeping this weight off. Rather than let those statistics scare me, I'm going to use it to motivate me. I am determined to be in that 20%.

It's come to my attention

2009-01-15T10:56:00.001-08:00

So the last few days I have had a familiar feeling that fills me with dread and reminded me how much I slacked on my workouts. My thighs are rubbing together again! It’s only ever so slight but it makes me so mad. How could I have let this happen? It’s not like I went off the deep end. I still worked out a few times in the last month and still watched my food intake some of the time. Ugh, I guess it’s just a reminder that this is never going to be easy and I’m going to have to be careful for the rest of my life. This blows.
So I wallowed in self pity for a short while and then realized that all that will do is make me fatter. I had so many excuses for myself and it is time for them to stop. From now on I have to get back into my routine and stick to it. We are all moved so there is no reason not to get to the gym four times a week. I started back yesterday and did the first day of Couch to 5k and rode the bike for 20 minutes. I wanted to cry at how slow I was. Some people can not work out for months and then go run a few miles no problem. Not me. Working out is never something that has come easily to me. It took a long time before I didn't curse the gym whenever I went there.
I have to stop beating myself up for how out of shape I’ve gotten in these few short weeks and start fresh. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do that I used to be able to do, I need to start fresh and then focus on my improvements.

Elastic waistbands for the non-pregnant gal

2009-01-09T13:48:00.000-08:00

Saw these at Target today. I seriously thought about buying them. Jeans have always been my enemy because of my muffin top and I long for the day I can wear maternity jeans. I'd do the untucked shirt though, I didn't know any one tucked their shirts in at all anymore, let alone into elastic.

Our new house, a work in progress

2009-01-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

The only thing we have really done is paint and get some furniture. The next step is to get some stuff up on the walls!
The living room:

The kitchen:

It's hard to tell but the walls are light green. I'm doing shabby chic with pink and green.The dining room:

This is the kitchen table I had growing up. My parents gave it to us a few years ago but this is the first pace we could actually use it. I'd really like to have it refinished in a dark brown.Hubby's office:

It drives me nuts but he wanted the desk in the middle of the room.

Or bedroom:

I thought I had outgrown Ikea furniture but I loved this bed and it was only $149.

Crafty Christmas

2009-01-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

So I have totally lagged on my blogging but life has been hectic with the holidays and moving. Here are the gifts I made for Christmas:

A quilt for my sister:A purse for hubby's cousin:

We are slowly putting the house together and I will be posting some pictures soon. When we moved out of our old house we got rid of almost everything so we have had to buy a lot of the essentials again. Last night we bought a new refrigerator so only a few more days of living off of take out!

Great Site!!

2008-11-24T10:53:00.000-08:00

I LOVE online shopping but HATE paying for shipping. I heard about this great site on the Nest.

At first I thought it might not have common sites or truly free shipping but it has a lot of great deals.

Say a prayer

2008-11-17T12:13:00.000-08:00

Our friends just bought a condo in Yorba Linda that is in the path of the fire. They just did a bunch of remodeling and are also due with their first child in December. Please keep them in your prayers.

Bleh Bleh Bleh

2008-11-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

I sit here feeling like a total blob. The last few weeks, eh actually months have been a roller coaster when it comes to my diet and exercise. I feel like I have said, "I'll start tomorrow" a hundred times. I will do OK for a few days and then something happens that causes me to throw in the towel. Life is coming at me hard and although I've made progress, I still haven't conquered my emotional eating. When I feel stress my thoughts of food are magnified 1000%. I have found ways to cope with this but with all that has been going on lately, it has become harder to manage.

Part of what's made it so difficult is living with the ILs. There is just so much more food at my fingertips then when we lived on our own. I'm not blaming them at all and I know I am 100% responsible for what I put in my mouth. It's just so much easier to grab a cookie or piece of candy that wouldn't even exist in our own home. My ILs are frequent entertainers so even though the food that is consistently around isn't that bad, it's the treats and leftovers that kill me.

So on Sunday, I once again decided that I was going to be back in control. Yesterday I did well and even went to the gym. I am sore as a mofo today but I feel good. Just gotta take it one day at a time.

Baby Quilt

2008-11-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

I guess we are in a new stage of life because now instead of attending a wedding every other weekend, it's a baby shower. We attended a couples baby shower for some friends this past Sunday. Thankfully, this was a very mellow, non-lame couples shower.

Since they do not know what they are having, I made this unisex quilt. I decided to skip the typical yellow and green. The damask fabric makes it a little girly and the geometric fabric is a little more masculine.

Success

2008-11-03T14:51:00.000-08:00

I did it!! With moments to spare, I managed to finish my Halloween costume.

I just might be insane

2008-10-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Being the chubby girl, Halloween costume shopping was a huge drag. I haven't even bothered with one for the last 5 years. Deep down I've always wanted to wear one of those fun sexy aka slutty costumes. Nothing super hoochie but just something with a short skirt and maybe a little cleavage. After losing weight, I decided this year would be the year. I began looking at costumes online back in August to get an idea of what was out there.

With all of the craziness that hubby's job situation has caused, Halloween has been the last thing on my mind lately. So on Tuesday, hubby suggested we go to the costume store. Biggest let down, ever. Everything was either extremely trashy looking or super expensive. Regardless of the fact that we are on a tight budget, I refuse to pay $75 for a handkerchief sized piece of fabric with some tulle underneath. So at that point I wanted to just spend my Halloween at home but we had already made plans. So at that point I just needed some sort of a costume. I didn't care for any of the regular costumes so I decided to be creative and figure out what I could come up with on my own. Some of my ideas were:

Emo kid-I found these instructions online. Last week I bought some skinny jeans at Forever 21 so I knew I could wear those. But after reading item 3 "Wear skin tight clothes, regardless of how fat you are" I reminded myself that this is something I could have worn any year.

Gossip Girl characters-I also found instructions on how to dress like Serena or Blair. My first choice would have been Blair. I love her headbands but as a blond, I don't think I could have pulled it off without a lot of people asking, "What are you?" As for being Serena, I am lacking the waifish figure and so I fear I might just look like I'm trying to dress "boho chic."

So this morning, frustrated and ready to just buy some animal ears to wear with my usual clothes, the thought occurred to me that I could sew a costume. I realize I only have one day but what's one all nighter in order to have a cute costume? I went to Walmart and found this pattern and decided on Little Red Riding Hood. I got all of the fabric, the zipper and the pattern for $33. The pattern looks similar enough to the dress I made this summer and my mom explained a few ways I can cut corners. So although it's completely crazy to take this on one night before Halloween, I'm excited! I figure blogging about it will be good motivation because I don't want the embarrassment of saying I gave up. Wish me luck!

Happy Anniversary Mrs. D

2008-10-27T13:29:00.001-07:00

Happy One Year Anniversary!

Boy how time flies! It seems like only yesterday...

Frozen Yummies

2008-10-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have tried a few new Lean Cuisines lately that have been awesome. All of them have really good flavor and the chicken is all white meat. They also have no transfats, yippeee!!

Sweet and Sour Chicken

6 WW Points
Calories 310

Calories From Fat 25
Total Fat (g) 3
Cholesterol (mg) 30
Saturated Fat (g) 0.5
Sodium (mg) 540
Trans Fat 0
Potassium (mg) 760
Polyunsaturated Fat (g) 1
Total Carbohydrates (g) 53
Monounsaturated Fat (g) 1
Dietary Fiber (g) 2
Protein (g) 17
Sugars (g) 20

Thai-Style Chicken

4 WW Points

Calories 220

Calories From Fat 35
Total Fat (g) 4
Cholesterol (mg) 30
Saturated Fat (g) 2
Sodium (mg) 610
Trans Fat 0
Potassium (mg) 650
Polyunsaturated Fat (g) 1
Total Carbohydrates (g) 30
Monounsaturated Fat (g) 1
Dietary Fiber (g) 2
Protein (g) 17

Sugars (g) 8

Sesame Chicken
7 WW Points

Calories 330

Calories From Fat 80

Total Fat (g) 9

Cholesterol (mg) 25

Saturated Fat (g) 1.5

Sodium (mg) 650

Trans Fat 0

Potassium (mg) 240

Polyunsaturated Fat (g) 4

Total Carbohydrates (g) 47

Monounsaturated Fat (g) 3

Dietary Fiber (g) 2

Protein (g) 16

Sugars (g) 14

Creepy Dog People

2008-10-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

We went to Laguna Beach yesterday to walk around and get something to eat at this restaurant where you can dine with your dogs. We decided to take advantage of the situation and treat Gunner like the human he thinks he is. I know this looks so creepy but these photos keep cracking me up every time I look at them.

Bailey would have no part in all of this. He was content to stay on the ground and people watch. Even a quick photo seemed to annoy him.

A woman who owns a pet food store right by the restaurant brought the boys some lunch.

What better way to end the day than at Golden Spoon!

The Upside of Hubby's Unemployment

2008-10-16T14:16:00.001-07:00

He called me earlier to let me know he made the bed, folded and put away all of the laundry and picked up our room. This week he has done the grocery shopping too! I had to explain the grocery game in detail to him but still such a great relief to not have to worry about it. We are both enjoying this but he better not get any ideas, when it comes time for kids I get to stay at home :)

Hot Dog!

2008-10-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

An important thing for me when it comes to eating right is being able to "normal" foods. If I can trick myself into thinking I'm eating junk I can keep from pigging out. I call it healthy junk food. One thing I love is a good hot dog. Thankfully soon after I started WW the very first time, someone told me about Hebrew National 97% Fat Free Hot Dogs . They are only 1 point and don't taste tough or rubbery.

Wonder Bread used to make Wonder Light hot dog buns that were 1 point but have recently discontinued them so I try and find a bun that isn't too many points. It's not always as easy as it sounds. It's amazing how many calories can be packed in a bun.

Puppy Dog Quilt

2008-10-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

I made this quilt for a friend's baby shower. She is a fellow dog lover so this was so much fun to make.

Bob's Big Boy

2008-10-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

We were in Burbank for a friend's art show and decided to go to Bob's Big Boy. I think the last time I ate at one I was under the age of 10. The food was yummy but the best part was of course Bob.

Slimfast

2008-10-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

If I actually did the Slim fast diet, I would probably die after the first day. Even now that their system includes more than just a 2 shakes and dinner, I still couldn't hang with that little of food. But I love having them for breakfast. I blend them with some soy milk and ice (3 points) and it keeps me full until lunch time.

Before I started making the Slim Fast shakes, I was buying the Weight Watchers shakes which were $7 for a box of seven. All Weight Watchers products are expensive but things like the shakes that are only sold at the meeting centers are even more of a rip off. Once the shakes became my daily breakfast I decided I need to find a better option.

I have also tried the Kashi Go Lean Smoothies but before you even add the milk they are 4 points and they taste like chocolate milk blended with sand.

I haven't been able to find any Slim Fast coupons lately but occasionally they are in the Sunday paper and I've found that Walmart has it the cheapest for around $6 a tub which makes 14 shakes.

"Diet" Food

2008-10-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

My post yesterday got me thinking about the craziness that is diet food. On one hand, it is nice to have "healthier" (depending on what aspect you are talking about) options of my favorite foods when I'm craving them. On the other hand though, they can become my crutch and prevent me from finding a fresh, whole food alternative to satisfy me.
One of the biggest reasons I love WW is because they teach balance. I get furious at other weight loss programs that are based solely on eating their foods. I have heard of numerous people who have tried a certain program, lost a bunch of weight but as soon as they stopped eating the food, they gained the weight back because they had no idea how to eat in the real world. That means either a life of the lose the weight, gain the weight back, return to the plan and lose the weight again, gain the weight back again roller coaster or maintaining but doomed to frozen meals.

Weight Watchers does have their own version of every food item known to man (I mean is WW cheese really any different than regular reduced fat cheese?)but it is seen as an aid to their program, not the core.
Even when incorporating "diet" foods into WW, I've found that not all are a yummy low point substitute of the real thing. Because they can be so costly, I think some people are afraid to try them for fear of being a waste of money. So I'm going to start blogging about the ones I like and try my best to find links for coupons. Also, I'll blog about the ones that have made me contemplate mailing the chewed up bite of grossness to the company.

2 New Yummy Foods

2008-10-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

In the last week, I have tried two new foods that I'm now addicted to.

First, Fiber One has come out with their version of the PopTart. I'm not a big PopTart person so I wouldn't be heartbroken if they turned out to be gross or didn't taste exactly like the real thing. I can't remember the last time I ate a real PopTart but I they tasted really good and didn't have that fake, diet-y taste. Since they have 5 grams of fiber and only 15 grams of sugar, I was left feeling satisfied didn't experience the crash and burn I normally get from a donut or other breakfast sweet. I tried the Strawberry ones but learned this morning when I went looking for this photo that they have chocolate fudge. I'm definitely going to try those ones next.

I've also become addicted to the Weight Watchers Cookies and Cream Bars. I don't give into the Weight Watchers food hype very often but we were at the store and I needed some WW friendly desserts to keep in the freezer. I had coupons so they only ended up being $3. I was hoping they would be good but was skeptical because a lot of times these diet desserts are the size of my thumb or taste like crap. Hubby tried these before I did and even he was hooked. They taste good and are actually decent sized. I advise looking for coupons and sales before buying any WW products. These suckers are normally $6 for a box of 6.

A Goodie Bag

2008-09-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite little kiddos (definitely my favorite little girl!) celebrate her sixth birthday today. Gosh it seems like yesterday she was a little baby...

Now, in the blink of an eye, she has become a full blown kid with a whole list of extracurricular activities. She is enrolled in two dance classes and when I was discussing her birthday gift with her fabulous mom, Mrs.D, she mentioned that she needed some sort of bag for her dance gear. She is a girl after my own heart and loves all things pink. Here is her new bag. It's a bit big for her now but is a good size for her gear and mom can tote it around. She'll grow into it :)

Giddy Up

2008-09-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

Here is one of the first pieces of clothing I've sewn. I made it to wear to our friends' 1 year old son's birthday party. The theme as you can tell was western. All I was missing was a pair of boots!

(My boobies are not that small, just suffocating. That is the joy of using a pattern. It's really just a guess as to what size you are.)

What a difference a year makes

2008-09-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, September 14th marked the one year anniversary of when I decided to restart Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time. My goal was to lose weight to fit into my bridesmaid dress for Mrs.D's wedding. Of course, I hoped that it would turn into a lifestyle and I would become a thinner, healthier person. But that is something I have said every time I restarted. For some reason though, thank God, this time it clicked and I have lost and kept off 30 pounds (40 pounds total from when I very first started Weight Watchers 5 years ago). I have gone from someone who dreaded the gym to someone who enjoys working out.

Sure, there are times I don't want to go or talk myself out of it but I always come back to my routine. I think that is the most important thing that has changed. Being healthy and exercising has become part of who I am. When I over indulge or miss a few days at the gym I feel out of whack and sluggish. When I do get back on track, it's not the old inner voice I used to hear. Gone are the days of chastising and labeling myself a failure. Now it's more like a reminiscent conversation with a friend saying, "Remember how great it felt? Let's get back to the way things were!"

There are still the difficult times and days were I think, "Oh my gosh, I have to do this for the rest of my life." But the good far out weigh (no pun intended, I swear) the bad and I know I'm on a good path to be healthy for the rest of my life. I want to be one of those ladies you see that's in their 60s and 70s rocking out in the front of the class at the gym.

Here are some photos of before I started the first time, restarting last year and now.

Right before 1st time starting WW

Right before restart 1 year ago

Now

Lose For Good

2008-09-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

Weight Watchers has launched it's Lose for Good campaign. For ever pound lost during September 7th to October 18th, they will donate the equivalent of one pound of food to someone in need. Not only are you helping yourself but you are helping someone less fortunate. Everybody wins!

Quilt for a cutie

2008-09-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

I made this quilt for our good friends who just had a beautiful baby boy. It was a lot of fun to make since I found such great fabrics to represent their style and I tried a new quilt style.

He is absolutely adorable. I should just come out and say it. I'm totally catching the fever. Of course I catch it when it is completely out of the question.

Yum Yum!

2008-09-09T09:23:00.001-07:00

Friday night hubby brought home goodies.
I have only had a Sprinkles cupcake one other time and it was darn good so I was excited to try these. From the top left, there was chocolate on chocolate, chocolate on vanilla, vanilla on vanilla, red velvet and chocolate marshmallow.
Chocolate marshmallow definitely is my favorite. It tastes like a fancy ding dong! The doggies even got their own treats.

The good thing about living with the ILs is that there are others to eat junk food. So I have only had a bite of each one and there is only one left. Especially since hubby is not much of a sweets person, when we were on our own I would have had to eat them myself. It would be wrong to let them go to waste, right?

Hawaii

2008-09-02T16:28:00.001-07:00

I've finally caught up at work and have a free moment to post some pictures. We spent 8 days on the Big Island and we had a great time. Hubby qualified for this trip through his work. The work trip was only 4 days, so we went 4 days early with some of his co-workers. The only reason I wanted to come home was to see my dogs :)

Getting a snack at the airport Hubby's flying survival kit Best shaved ice ever...

Black Sand Beach
Akaka Falls
Here is where the free trip began...

Welcome dinner-all you can eat and drink. Please ignore my husband's hideous shirt, he's so "that guy" that loves to wear things for shock value.

Boooooring dinner where all booze and food was withheld during any presentations.

Spending a day out by ourselves

Cracking a macadamia nut

Lamest shaved ice ever

Botanical Gardens w/ Hubby's co-worker and his wife

BJ Penn's gym in Hilo. I've never seen 2 boys so excited about a gym.

Yummy room service

Waiting for our shuttle to the airport.

Overall, a great vacation and much needed break. Now back to life living at the In-laws. Five months to go!

Catching up

2008-08-24T12:01:00.000-07:00

We just got back the other night from Hawaii and I'm am still catching up and adjusting to the time change. I came back to a bazillion emails at work and have to spend part of this weekend working on some projects that need to be done by tomorrow. I'm going to post about our trip with some pictures as soon as I have a free moment.
We had a great time and wouldn't you know it, I got sucked into the Twilight series. I finished the books I had brought on vacation early, so a friend that was with our group lent me her copy of Twilight. Even with all of the hoopla and craziness surrounding the series, I really didn't have any interest. I really don't do anything besides classics and chick lit. However, the thought of a 5 hour plane ride with nothing to do was enough reason to give it a try. The first bit of the book I was still somewhat skeptical but after awhile it got good! I am definitely hooked! So as with anything that I get obsessed with, I like to scour the internet for more information. I know there are message boards but when I googled it, it brought up so many. If you have any recommendations of good ones to go to, please please let me know!!

Non-Scale Victory

2008-08-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

As much support as there is out there for losing weight, there isn't much for maintaining. No one tells you how much harder it gets once the excitement of losing is gone. The scale has basically been at a standstill for the last 4 months. It is such a struggle because so easily I can convince myself that there is no point in exercising and eating right if I won't wake up the next day any lighter or eventually fit into a smaller size. But then my other side reminds me that if I stop, I will wake up heavier and will eventually need a bigger size. It's a constant argument back and forth in my head.

Because of this I'm trying to find excitement in other areas of my life affected by healthy eating and exercise. This past weekend when we moved, it took the WHOLE weekend. In the past when I have moved, I am wiped out and hurting for a few days. I was prepared for that this time but was amazed to find how much easier it was. Now, I'm not in gnarly shape where I could carry heavy boxes one handed or anything. But what I noticed was how much quicker I bounced back and how much faster I worked. Before, I would take a few loads to the car or into the house and then need a break. This time I could keep going and when I did finally take a break, I was ready to work again after a few minutes. Monday morning I expected it to catch up with me but surprisingly, I woke up feeling fine.

It was such a great reminder that there are so many other benefits besides watching the numbers on the scale go down. This time it was a real indication that I am healthier, not just thinner. I think back to the only other time I've gotten down to this weight. Not only was it really temporary (like seriously a few weeks) because I lost the weight the totally wrong way, but since I was in such a deprivation mode, physical activity was beyond exhausting. I remember feeling like I was going to pass out at the gym because I was only eating 400 calories a day. It got to the point where getting off the couch was work. Back then, this move would have killed me. So even though I was the same weight I was not healthy.

So I'm learning to find joy and excitement in other ways. When those moments come where I think, "Oh @%#&#%$$! This is going to be a struggle for the rest of my life," I can look beyond the scale for motivation.

All Moved

2008-08-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

We are all moved. It took ALL weekend. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. That's all I really have to say...

Flashback

2008-07-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's quake reminded me of the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake in San Fransisco. We were a good distance from the epicenter but still felt it. I remember I was at a friend's house and we were outside. All of the sudden it felt like the ground was rolling. Later when I was at home, this was on the news. It's crazy to think that a bridge just snapped. I still get nervous driving over it.

I was actually more scared yesterday than I was back then. As a kid, I wasn't thinking about the ramifications of an earthquake and my parents controlled how much of the news we saw. Now, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of the "The Big One". I miss being young and naive.

New Playlist

2008-07-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to rejuvenate my workout efforts, I made a new playlist for my ipod. Thanks Mrs. D for the Britney!

Piece of Me--Britney Spears
When I Grow Up-PCD
Damaged--Danity Kane
Gimme More--Britney Spears
American Boy--Estelle f/ Kanye
7 Things--Miley Cyrus
Baby It's You--JoJo
Dancing Queen--ABBA
Can't Hold Us Down--Christina Aguilera

Yes, I'm a 16 year old stuck in a 26 year old's body.

2 Years

2008-07-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary. I've always heard people say it goes so fast but I am really starting to believe it. These two years have flown by. Hubby surprised me with dinner last night at The Wild Rabbit. Oh my gosh, so good. Plus, they have a deal in the Entertainment book.

For DH's gift, I made him a calendar with photos of the past 5 1/2 years. It's not here yet due to circumstances beyond my control (stupid EZ Photo Creations) but in putting it together, I f0und this little goody from our first date.

Ugh

2008-06-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

I forgot how much it sucks trying to find somewhere to live. We've been here for 2 years now and that is the longest I've lived anywhere in the last 8 years. It quickly came back to me what a stressful situation it is not knowing where you're going to live. We've looked at a few places but they are just too expensive. It is crazy what people are charging for rent, especially here in Orange. I mean seriously, $2300 for a crappy two bedroom that looks like it hasn't been re carpeted or painted since the '80s? I can't stomach that. I'm trying to stay positive since we have until the end of August but I know how quickly time flies. I feel like I know every ad on Craigslist.

Oh well, gotta...

Blast From the Past

2008-06-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday night we went to Hubby's 10 year high school reunion. What an old man!

It was such a blast hearing all these stories about him. Apparently, he spent most of his time joking around and picking on other kids. Not much of a suprise to me. Thankfully he had enough charm that people still liked him. I laughed my arse off at some great photos and videos. He rocked the bleached hair and bright colored Oakleys.

This got me thinking, mine's only 2 years away. Since I'm much lighter than I was in high school, I'm looking forward to giving a few people who teased me one of these:

I am scheduled to attempt to get knocked up in 2 years, but it's going to have to work around my reunion. Yes I'm a shallow biotch :)

Shooooooot Part 2

2008-06-20T15:46:00.000-07:00

Just...got...60...days...notice...

Shooooooot

2008-06-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

Well the time has come we have been dreading. Our landlords are selling our house. I am sure some of you are aware of the situation but I'll the rest of you in. Back in February our landlord passed away. He was diagnosed with cancer in December 2006 and after a few months was in remission. In December 2007 it came back with a vengeance and he passed away. He left his house to his sisters who have taken over the job of landlord (from their homes in Oregon). He had only owned the house for a few years so he still owed a lot of money. I'm not sure all the legalities of it but his sisters make it sound like they are financially responsible for the home. It doesn't make sense to me how you can leave someone your financial burdens but you never know. Anyways, they've been wishy-washy on the whole thing, going back and forth about renting it out vs. selling it. They are always very vague when they give us any information and rarely call us back. They prefer to write letters. Not even emails but handwritten, put a stamp on it, letters. It must run in the family because rather than coming to talk to us, our landlord would leave post-it note on the door. I would often notice something on the bottom of my shoe after coming in the house and realize it was a note about the gardener.
After he passed away, they threw a few things away and then locked up the house and haven't been back since. Yesterday, Hubby came home and saw them moving stuff out. Apparently, they listed all his earthly possessions on craigslist (anyone need a couch? fridge? juicer? ) and are going to put the house on the market. They aren't evicting us or anything but we've decided we should probably find another place to live now. Besides the stress of possibly having to move once it sells, there is also the issue of them showing the house. I remember what a pain in the butt it was when my parents sold there last few houses to keep a house show ready and deal with realtors calling wanting to come by. I don't want to have to deal with a house to sell that isn't even mine. Legally they can show the house during business hours as long as they give us reasonable notice. So that means whenever they have people coming over we'll have to figure out what to do with the doggies. Buying a house is on the horizon but not close enough that we could do it right now. So we've started looking around for another rental. I'm hoping this will mean we will finally get a 2 bedroom but I'm not holding my breath.
I understand that selling the house may be what's best for them but it makes me so mad that they've been so inconsiderate to us. They haven't kept us in the loop on anything and then drop a bomb like this. Boo on them.

Margaritas and a Sweaty Bum

2008-06-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after work, I headed to El Torito with some awesome gals. It was hotter than a mofo but as always we had fun.

Ugh, bad choices were made...but today I'm back on the train.

Another bag

2008-06-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Even though I am pretty sure my mom doesn't even know what a blog is, I didn't want to post this until I had given it to her. We didn't get to celebrate Mother's day with my mom until this past weekend so I had some extra time to get her a gift. I sent her pictures of the dogs' overnight bag and she asked me if I would make her one some time. It was perfect timing since I only had half of her gift. This conversation took place on Wednesday so I knew I had time. My mom is like me and loves all things pink, plus her dog is a girl so I knew it had to be pink and girly. I went to Joann's and was really discouraged since all of the dog stuff was boyish and all of the girly fabric had cats on them. I finally found a fabric that would do but I wasn't super happy about it. It was cute but not as girly as I had hope. The next day, I went back hoping to find a good ribbon or something to make it cuter. I always browse through the sale fabric and lucky for me, I found the same fabric that I had used but pink and black. Even better, it was on sale for $3 a yard. I had only started cutting the other fabric so I hadn't put too much time into it. I figure use it to make her a quilt or something for her birthday.

Since both dog fabrics were really cheap I had bought all that was left so now I have enough to make a girl quilt and a boy quilt for the future. I figure I have at least 2 years :)

Dirty Thirty

2008-06-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

I retested myself on Wii Fit last night and I'm down to age 30. Wheee!!!!!!!!!!!

Suzy Sewer

2008-06-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was in a sewing mood and during my last trip to Joann's I had picked out some fabric to make the doggies an overnight bag. I thought, they shouldn't have to settle for using whatever I can find (which was usually a cloth grocery bag), they deserve their own bag. I found this great tutorial online that was pretty easy to follow. The only thing was it says you need 1 yard of each fabric which is about 36x45 inches but for the straps you need to cut a strip that's 50 inches long. Not sure how you're expected to do that so my straps are much shorter than theirs. Even then, the inner side of my straps have a seam in the middle because I cut my straps last and had to make due with the remnants.
I also worked on my Valentine's day quilt and it's almost done. I know what you are thinking, I'm either 4 months late or 8 months early. Well both are true. After working hard on a quilt at Christmas time that wasn't done until around mid-January and seeing the fabric I paid a pretty penny for going for 70% off, I decided I'll make holiday quilts after the holiday so I can take my time and get the fabric at a bargain price. You don't even have to rush to the fabric store the day after the holiday, it usually stays for awhile. In fact, I didn't have fabric for the backing of the quilt and I figured I would just get some red gingham or something but last night while cruising the clearance rack at Joann's I found a Valentine's print for $2 a yard. I'm hoping it will be finished in the next few days. I'm sure you are all waiting anxiously (right?right?) so I'll post pictures as soon as I'm done.

Wii Fit

2008-06-09T09:30:00.001-07:00

Thanks to MIL's connections, I got a Wii Fit yesterday. I am so excited. I've been so bitter when I've heard people talking about it. As soon as I got home last night I set it up and got started. The first thing you do is your body test. As silly as it sounds I was nervous about the weight part. If you can't tell I have a lot of psychological issues with my weight and one of them is the time and circumstances that I weigh myself. I only weigh myself in the mornings, nekked and with no food in my belly. Most normal people can step on the scale at other times or with clothes on and attribute an extra pound or two to clothes or just the time of day. Even though I know all the reasons your weight can be different, it still can really mess with my head to see a higher number on the scale. I can quickly start to convince myself that it's not those reasons and I'm a screw up and must have done something. Which then turns into, the "I'm a big fat failure" mentality and the next thing you know... So anyways, because of this I was a little leery of the body test. Luckily, it asks you what you think your clothes weigh so I used that to account offset my clothes as well as that extra "late in the day" pound. My BMI was in the normal range but the computer then tells me that "those with a BMI of 22 are less likely to be sick" so since mine is 22.39, I should work on getting it down to 22. Listen here Wii Fit, I get sick like ever 2 years and have had friends who are barely over 100 pounds that are sick every other week. I don't buy that one.

The next step was the Center of Balance test. You stand there and it tells you how evenly you balance your weight. Mine wasn't bad but they told me I could improve on it. Then came the Balance test.

You shift your weight so that you are in the blue zones and you hold it there for 3 seconds. Your goal is to get through 5 levels in 30 seconds. With each level the blue zones get smaller, making it harder for you to hold. I thought I did pretty well, making it through 4 of the 5 levels. I was wrong. It told me my balance was not good and then it asked me, "Do you trip a lot when you walk?" Really? Really? I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a klutz and I have the occasional stumble but I can make it through a day without falling down, TYVM!

After all that, with my Mii waiting anxiously, it calculated my Wii age. I was hoping Wii would consider me as fit and nimble as an 18 year old but realistically I thought I would at least be my own age. Nope, 38! Seriously, WTF? Not that there is anything wrong with 38 but being 26 this makes Mii 12 years older.

I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my tears and moved on with the setup. From there it has you set goals. So I told it I want to lose 10 pounds by August. Then I moved onto the activities. So far I've tried Soccer (heading balls), Ski slalom and jump, hula hoop, basic run, step, push ups and warrior pose. My favorite is probably the hula hoop since it got my heart rate up. Hubby says I look like a weirdo but since I'm not very coordinated I can't seem to twirl my hips in a real circle.

Overall I'm pretty happy with it. My only complaint is that there is a lot of standing around. Most of the activities are maybe 1 minute long and even if you keep doing the same activity, there is still a waiting time after each try where it gives you your score and shows your ranking. Hopefully, they'll come out with some activities that are more like work out videos where you are moving for a long period of time. This won't be replacing my regular workout routine but I know it will be a fun way to get some extra exercise and improve my balance. I'm determined to be a Wii teenager.

Netflix

2008-06-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

My boss gave me 4 one month free trial offers. You can pick any plan up to the 3 out at a time plan. I used one so I have 3 up for grabs. Leave me a comment if you want one and I'll email you the code.

Oh the pain...

2008-06-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

I tried a new class at the gym last night, Camp24. I thought, "Hey it's only 30 minutes it can't be that hard." Holy effin' crap it was intense. The first 10 minutes were lunges and the rest was a mix of squats and arm exercises with weights. Oh my gosh I can't even describe how much my thighs were burning 5 minutes in. By the end of the class my legs were shaking. Today my toosh and my thighs are so sore. I can't even walk normally. As much as I'm hurting, it was a great class and I plan to make it part of my routine.

Sallie Mae

2008-06-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

You suck, I hate you.

The Weekend of Pink

2008-06-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

Thursday was Hubby's birthday and we spent it at the tattoo parlor. Not how I'd want to spend my own birthday but that's what he enjoys. I made cupcakes for all of Hubby's tattoo friends. By the time he was finished all that was really open for dinner was the fast food Chinese restaurant.

Friday, I got my replacement phone. When we were at Disneyland, the sunscreen had leaked in my purse all over my phone rendering the keyboard inoperable. Luckily, I have insurance so they sent me a new one. My old phone had been a hand-me-down and I never got the CD for my computer so all I could get was the download which didn't have the program to put music or pictures on your phone. The new one came with the CD so I'm so stoked I can put that stuff on there.

Since we couldn't go out to dinner the night before we went on Friday. Hubby's new favorite place is Benjies. We both drive by it every day on the way to work but never thought to try it until we were out with his parents and his mom remembered going there like 40 years ago. As much as I wanted one of their yummy sandwiches I opted for grilled chicken, a baked potato and veggies (cue Debbie Downer music). We were trying to decide what to do after and we were both tired so we got some movies at Blockbuster. We watched America 101 which I found really amusing.

The next day I realized it was the last day of the month and I hadn't weighed in at Weight Watchers in May. When you are lifetime you have to weigh in once a month or you have to pay the weekly fee the next time you go in. My hope is to never have to start paying again but I definitely don't want to have to pay because I couldn't get my butt in there. So as soon as I got up I went and weighed in. I was up a pound but I don't really care because I just count that as normal fluctuation. Saturday we went to the ILs for dinner to celebrate Hubby's and SIL's birthdays. When we got home that evening I decided I needed to clean my kitchen. The next thing I knew it was 1 am.

Sunday we woke up and headed to the Petersen Automotive Museum in LA. I was shocked that Hubby had never been there. They have an exhibit called La Vida Lowrider that Hubby was dying to see and it was ending next weekend. He loves most all old cars but he has a special place in his heart for lowriders. He would love to own something like this someday. My favorite part of the museum was where they had kid drawings of fantasy cars and made them into real life models.

After we toured the museum, we headed to Pink's. We have driven by so many times and always said we wanted to try it, so today was the day.

We waited in line for over an hour.

I got the Lord of the Rings dog (a hot dog with onion rings and BBQ sauce) and Hubby got the Bacon Burrito dog (two hot dogs, chili, cheese and bacon wrapped in a tortilla) and we split chili cheese fries. Oh my gaw was it a big greasy mess. I am really suprised I didn't have a heart attack right there. Good thing I weighed in the day before!

It was good but we decided we like PCH Dogs better. Since we were in an adventurous mood, we decided we'd try Pinkberry which was down the street. I've never had it and was skeptical since I'm such a die hard Golden Spoon fan. It was actually pretty good! It wasn't as tart as I was expecting and the more bland flavor tasted really good with the fruit.

After that we drove home to relax for awhile. Hubby got MarioKart for the Wii for his birthday so we played that. You are actually steering using either the steering wheel or the controller. It's really fun and makes me feel like a kid again.

That evening we went to Mrs. Knott's to celebrate Hubby's birthday with some of our friends. What a way to round out a day of eating like total crap. Thankfully today I am right back on track!

Ice Cream Cake

2008-06-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

Before I get started, this is for Amber who asked if my kitchen is filled with pink Kitchen Aid stuff.

The other day was Hubby's birthday and he had wanted cupcakes to take to the tattoo parlor with him. He had wanted two kinds but I didn't think we needed 48 cupcakes so I made 12 cupcakes and 1 9 inch round of each kind. So that left me with 1 round white cake and 1 round carrot cake. I knew I could figure out something to do with them. That night I got the idea to make an ice cream cake. We were going to the in-laws on Saturday to celebrate Hubby and SIL's birthday and I already has cake planned out so this would work out perfectly.

My very first job was at Baskin Robbins and my favorite thing to do there was make cakes. That was 12 years ago and I haven't made one since but I figured it's just like riding a bike, right?

The first step was to put the ice cream on the cake. I had learned that you place scoops of somewhat soft ice cream on top to cover the cake and then smooth it out so that's how I did it. Later as I was looking online for decorating ideas I discovered that this can also be accomplished by putting ice cream in a cake pan and freezing it, then popping it out of the pan and setting it on top of the cake. I tend to do things the hard way but I digress...The cake went into the freezer until it was ready to be frosted.

The next day was all about the decorating. SIL and I are very similar in a lot of aspects favorite colors being one of them so I decided pink and purple was the way to go.

The first step was to

frost the cake. Now you could use regular frosting but I like ice cream frosting the best. I put some vanilla ice cream and purple food coloring in a bowl and let it get reallllllly soft.

I spread the ice cream on the cake as much as I could and then back in the freezer it went to harden up for decorating.

I didn't have any decorating tools and I had a Joann's card that had been burning a hole in my pocket since my birthday so I knew I could stock up there. I bought a few different tips and some disposable bags. I also bought some adorable fabric to make an overnight bag for my doggies. Hubby said I'm officially a creepy dog lady. Psssh whatever.

Once I was home I mixed up the frosting and began stressing because I was cutting it close and only had an hour and a half to decorate the cake and get ready to go. After struggling with the frosting being too soft and then too hard I finally got it to work. I had attempted to make roses but the frosting still wasn't cooperating and so I scrapped that idea. Here is the final product.

Happy Hump Day

2008-05-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

Is it Friday yet? It seems like the shorter the week the more the days drag. This morning has been nothing but a headache and I went to Home Goods in hopes of finding a few things I was looking for. All I wanted was a new tablecloth or placemats, a cupcake carrier and some sort throw pillows for our bed. I found nada! My kitchen is pink and so I figured it would be easy to find something that matched. Not the case. All of the pink tablecloths and placemats were ugly and old ladyish. There were really cute polka dot ones that came in every color but pink. Our bedroom is pink and brown (I know I'm really lucky to have found a man who doesn't mind all the pink). The throw pillows suprised me too because they were lacking any thing with even a hint of pink. The cupcake carrier I wasn't as suprised about but I was hopeful. Oh well I guess I'll have to look online and see if I can find something.

Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

The busyness continued as we headed for a car show in Santa Maria on Friday. Hubby has been going to this car show for years but it has always been held in Paso Robles. Apparently some drama went down with the city council so they moved it to Santa Maria this year. We weren't sure how good it would be but were hopeful it would still be as fun.

We left the house around 10:30am and it was raining off and on. I can't believe last weekend it was a billion degrees and here it was raining. Usually hubby drives an old car up there but since we sold his hot rod a few months ago we just took the "Malibentley" (his nickname for his Chevy Malibu). I was so thankful since last year his car broke down both ways and had to be towed.

On the way, Hubby's mom called a few times to let us know the dogs hadn't been acting like their normal selves. Bailey had thrown up a few times and Gunner had gotten stuck under the bed. I think it was because their schedule has been so wacky going back and for to the in-laws. I was worried about my babies but knew they were in good hands. We made it up there in about 3 1/2 hours which was much quicker than the drive to Paso Robles. We arrived at our hotel, The Santa Maria Inn and it was madness.

There were cars everywhere. This was the host hotel for the car show so it also became the hangout. We checked in and grabbed some lunch. Then we headed to our room to drop off our stuff. Hubby had gotten a bunch of his friends to book rooms there so they upgraded our room.

That evening was nice and relaxing. We had some yummy Mexican food with one of Hubby's car friends and his wife and then met some other friends in the bar for a drink.

There were still a bunch of people outside so Hubby decided to go look around and talk to some of people he hadn't seen in awhile. I opted for a hot bath and some TV.

The next morning I woke up bright and early at 6:45. I NEVER wake up that early, even for work. I guess it was sleeping in a different bed or something but I decided to embrace it and get ready. We headed over to a Perko's Cafe across the street. I tried my hardest to convince myself to eat something healthy but the Chicken Fried Steak was calling my name. Luckily that is what Hubby wanted too so we split it and it was yummy.

The car show ended up being pretty cool. There were a lot more vendors than when it was in Paso Robles. Hubby kept grumbling about how it wasn't the same but that's to be expected when something you've gone to for so long is uprooted and redone. After a few drinks he was content and decide we needed some pictures. Here is me snacking on kettle corn.

His attempt at taking our photo.

That night we decided to go to a restaurant called Jocko's.

It supposedly has the best steak around. We arrived around 6:30 and the place was packed. As we were standing outside I spotted one of my crushes. His name is Deke Dickerson and of all the bands and musicians Hubby likes to see, he is the one I love. For some reason, maybe it's the whole musician thing, I think he is hot. We have talked to him a few times at his shows so he recognized us and we chatted with him for a few minutes. I was too shy to ask for a picture but Hubby had no problem.

(The guy on the right is the drummer)

They were leaving so we headed in to put our name down. I almost died when the hostess told us 2-2 1/2 hours. We decided to wait it out and went to the bar. Luckily, we found a table. We ended up sharing the table with an adorable older couple. We chatted with them until they were called. I swear it was like meeting John and I in 50 years. After an hour and a half, they were seated. We figured it couldn't be much longer for our table. Finally after another hour, Hubby decided to go see what was the deal. They kept telling us just a few more minutes and after another half an hour, so 3 hours total, we were seated. Thank goodness we had an appetizer at the bar or I would have passed out by then. I ordered the smallest steak I could find and medium rare so it would come as soon as possible. This is what I got.

I can't imagine how big the larger one was. We dug in and it was sooo good. I don't know if it was worth the 3 hours but at that point it was great.

Neither of us finished ours but we still decided we were champions.

After our dinner we went to the local bowling alley where Deke was playing. I didn't know he was going to be there so I was excited. He played until 1am and we went back to the hotel and crashed.

The next morning we slept in a little, packed up our stuff and grabbed some breakfast before we went back to the car show to do one final round before driving home. I made sure to get some cotton candy for the drive and we picked up purses for 2 upcoming birthdays.

We hit the road and stopped in Solvang to do some exploring. We picked up some a cute magnet, a few pastries and some treats for the dogs.

3 hours later we were home but only to change and then we drove to the in-laws to pick up the kids. I was excited to pick them up. We had dinner there, showed them our pictures and then we went home. We were all pooped.

Memorial Day was pretty uneventful. Other than a small BBQ at our friends' house we were able to spend it relaxing. Even though I had eaten like total crap the whole weekend I knew I could get back on track but I'd have to start that morning. My evil side tried to convince my good side to round out the weekend and just blow it one more day but I knew if I did I'd be done for a long time. I did fine and made sure to get Golden Spoon that evening. As strange as it sounds, it helps me get back on track. After the last exhausting week and weekend, I was actually pretty glad to be going back to work and getting in a routine again. I'm sure that will last until the end of the day :)

Busy, busy but tons of fun

2008-05-22T13:18:00.000-07:00

Wow ever since last Friday it has been a whirlwind of activities. Thankfully all fun but exhausting none the less.

We started the weekend off at the Angels' game with the in-laws. I don't remember much about the game but I do remember the yummy frozen lemonade!

On Saturday we had not 1 but 2 weddings to attend. Not only were they on different sides of the county but one was more formal so we stopped at home in between for a costume change. The first wedding was for Megan and Eric in Fountain Valley.

Awhile back I had introduced my sister to Megan and now she works for her. So she was at the wedding.

The wedding was beautiful and really reflected their style. It was great to see some friends we hadn't seen in awhile, 2 of whom are pregnant.

Luckily their wedding moved quickly so we were able to stay to watch them cut the cake before we left.

We headed home to change and on the way the hubby had a brilliant idea. He called his brother who lives in LA to pick us up. His wife doesn't drink so we could all take full advantage of the open bar. They showed up just as we were ready and we were off to Laguna Beach for the next one. We arrived in plenty of time since we had to take a shuttle. Plenty of people warned us about how cold it would be. So we brought our coats and my sister-in-law even wore pants so she wouldn't freeze. When we arrived it was blazing hot. We walked down to the ceremony and it was beautiful. Thanks to my in-laws arriving early, we scored a seat in the shade. After the ceremony we moved over to the grass for some cocktails and appetizers. One of the featured drinks was the key lime martini which was yummy!

After awhile we were able to go to our seats. Lucky us, our table was in the sun and all the umbrellas were occupied. I quickly became an unhappy camper. It was still a million degrees and it was going to be a long time until the sunset. After a lot of complaining, they finally gave us an umbrella. It was the one shading the cake but as bitchy as it sounds, at that point I didn't really care. Once we were in the shade I was content.

After the dinner, the live band showed up. Now, I was really skeptical about how good a live band would be. An '80s cover band maybe but this was definitely not that. They started playing and everyone continued drinking and that is when things got interesting.

The band provided props so things got crazy.

We stayed until the bride and groom left and then drove home. It was still incredibly hot.

Sunday was spent doing errands and the hubby and his dad hooked up our new(to us) washer. Then I had to take the doggies to get their shots. Poor babies, they were not happy with me!

One of my besties and her family were coming down from up north to have their first family trip to Disneyland. Since our house is teeny tiny, my in-laws so kindly let them stay at their house. I was going to stay there with them so after work I headed to the in-laws. I had planned on going to the gym but realized I didn't have all my workout clothes with me. So once I arrived I improvised with some clothes I had there. My mother-in-law watches hubby's cousin in the afternoons so he took me on a run through the park nearby. Man did that kick my butt! There were hills and much of it was a dirt trail so it was killer. My thighs were burning. That night K and her family arrived and we headed to BJs. I have to say, her kids are so cute and entertaining. Even though they were exhausted from the long drive they still had tons of energy.

That next morning, we were up early and headed to Disneyland. This was the kids first time and they were pumped!

God was definitely looking out for us because it was nice and cloudy but not too cold. After a slight mishap with their tickets, we were in. We headed for the new(ish) Nemo ride. The wait was "only" 90 minutes so we decided that was worth it. The ride was cool and the kids really got a kick out of it.

We spent the rest of the day hitting as many rides as we could. The park wasn't that busy so we were able to get to a lot.

We made sure to see the Jedi Training Academy. It takes a special kind of....um....geek to act in this show.

We made it to Main Street in plenty of time to get a spot for the parade and get a snack. Hubby and I took advantage of our spot right in front of the candy store and bought the boys the biggest lollipops we could find.

I know K will get me back when I have kids!

We enjoyed the parade and then headed home exhausted. The next day they got up and went to California Adventure. I have no idea how they had the energy, I was wiped. I am used to doing Disneyland at adult speed, but on kid speed you move a lot faster! It's good practice, right? It was so great to spend time with our friends, it's sad being so far away :(

Luckily, I've been able to work from home the last two days. Our house was a disaster from all our busyness so I've been able to get it back in order. Tomorrow we are off to Santa Maria for a car show. Thank goodness it's a long weekend!

Today is a new day

2008-05-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

Ever since Saturday my eating has been less than stellar. For some reason this month, the PMS monster had me in a tighter grip than usual. I've been snacking like crazy on not so healthy things. Plus, I skipped the gym on Monday night to go shopping. I know it's only one day but paired with bad eating habits I can quickly derail. Yesterday I thought I deserved a day to blow it big time and was excited to eat something really greasy. I convinced myself that I also didn't need to go to the gym that night. I went out at lunch and picked up some Chinese food and was so excited to get back and eat it. After I took the first bite I realized it wasn't as good as I had built it up to be in my head. I kept eating though, reminding myself I "deserve" this. Afterwards, I felt awful. Not only did my stomach hurt, I felt like a slug. All I wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. Even though I had already decided I deserved a night off from the gym, now I couldn't even imagine working out in this state.
Of course as it always happens when I gorge myself on junk, I beat myself up and labeled myself a failure. As I was driving home, I was shaming myself with the usual things I say when I've blown it in the past. "You might as well just give up." "I knew you couldn't keep this up, you might as well accept your fate as a fatty." Then I had a moment and one of those cheesy motivational Weight Watcher lines popped into my head. "If you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got." This made me think of two things. If I keep convincing myself I'm a failure at staying thin long term, I'll continue a lifestyle of yo-yo weight loss. I don't want that and this is the closest I've been to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I want to keep it that way rather than this become just another period in my life where I've lost weight. It's been 8 months since I got serious about getting in shape and it would really suck to have to start that count over. It also made me think, since it has been 8 months, obviously I've been doing something right. I can go back to my normal routine and I'll be fine. I may gain a few pounds but after a few days back in the swing of things it will come back off. So I realized it comes down to a decision. Let this be the mistake that derails all my hardwork or let it be a lesson and an opportunity to grow.
I chose the latter and decided that even though I felt like crap and had told myself I deserved a day off from the gym, I needed to go. I knew it would get me back on track and plus I really enjoy working out. Especially since I would have missed my step class. So as soon as I got home, I changed into my workout clothes. I can't stand the thought of taking off workout clothes without having actually worked out so I knew that once they were on I'd make it to the gym. I got to the gym and it felt good to be there. Even though I had only missed one workout I felt out of whack. Class was good but I could definitely feel my Chinese food bouncing around. Half way through I actually threw up in mouth. Sorry that is so disgusting but it really reminded me of another reason to not eat like crap. Besides keeping my weight in check, staying within my points makes me feel so much stronger and energetic. I was able to make it through but with a lot less vigor than usual.
Last night I knew I needed to equip myself. As much as I was motivated, it's still easy to let those negative thoughts come back. Especially when my stomach is empty. So I packed my lunch and made some diet coke chocolate cupcakes so I could satisfy Aunt Flo. This morning I had my usual breakfast of a slimfast and a fiber one bar. I can definitely say I'm back on track. I just keep reminding myself that today is a new day and I can't fix what I did, I can only learn from it and move forward.

Update from Saturday

2008-05-14T22:29:00.001-07:00

I went to the gym tonight and asked about the guy who had a heart attack. Thank God Almighty, he is going to be fine!

Apostrophes

2008-05-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

I find it so annoying when people over use apostrophes. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

The apostrophe has three uses:
1) show possession

2) contractions

3) to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters.

(Thank you OWL)

They are not used just for fun or to look pretty. If your looking for something to abuse, try prescription drugs. Don't abuse punctuation.

If you enjoy punctuation as much as I do, try this.

Heartbreaking

2008-05-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

It started as a normal trip to the gym. I was in the last stretch of my workout on the bike and rocking out to a little JT. All of the sudden I hear a loud thud. This has happened once before when I've been at the gym. A lady who thought she was ready to run at a steep incline fell off a treadmill. She had a few scrapes and was cursing out the gym for their unsafe equipment. I assumed this was the same sort of thing as I was turning around but then I heard people start yelling. "Call 911!" "Is anyone a doctor?" I could see a pair of legs between two elliptical machines. My heart dropped. Thank the Lord above that there happened to be a doctor there working out. He was able to do CPR until the paramedics arrived. They were there within a few minutes and continued CPR as they loaded him up in the ambulance. My heart was aching for this poor man. No one should have to die at the gym, that's like dying at work or the DMV. The only comforting thought I have is that since he was older (he appeared to be in his 70s) he was more likely to be there because he enjoyed it. I can't really picture an older person begrudgingly working out. As they were performing CPR, I just kept praying for him and his family.

Besides being so sad about the situation, I am really pissed off at the way some people reacted. From the moment I realized something was wrong I stopped my workout. I am a firm believer of not gawking or crowding. If you can't help then stay back. Yet, I find it unbelievable that some people continued their workout! Not like they didn't hear because their music was too loud, but they turned around saw what was going on and then went back to what they were doing. I just feel like that's so disrespectful. To me it says, "Oh that sucks that you might be dying but I've really gotta stay at my target heart rate."

What was even more insane was that a few of these people who continued their workout knew the guy. There are a handful of older men who work out at my gym. I overheard this conversation between two of them:
Guy A: Hey is he ok?
Guy B: I don't know, they are still performing CPR.
Guy A: Wow really? Is it anybody we know?
Guy B: Yeah it's Joe.
Guy A: Joe? You don't say.
Guy A then goes back to reading his book and walking on the treadmill.
At that point I lost it. It doesn't matter if he is only an acquaintance. You could at least pause your workout until they take him out of the building. I don't know if he heard me but I made sure to say loudly enough what a piece of crap I thought he was. I didn't even know the man and I was so upset, how can you not even flinch when someone you know is laying on the floor unconscious.

Thankfully there were people who people who jumped in to help out. There was the doctor who performed CPR and people who helped move equipment and clear a path for the stretcher. There was also a handful of people who stopped what they were doing while this was going on.

After they took him away, I left the gym. I couldn't just go back to my workout like nothing had happened. I got in my car and cried. I cried for this man and his family and I cried for the disregard some people have for human life. I am so sad, I just pray that they were able to save him. I tried looking on the internet, hoping maybe the OC register had a story about it so I could find out if he is ok but I couldn't find anything. I'm going to the gym tonight so hopefully they will know.

Rise and Shine

2008-05-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

My doggies refuse to let me sleep in on the weekends. I guess this is just a small taste of what it's like to have a kid. Bring on the birth control! They try their best to get me up around 7 but usually if I let them hop in bed with me, they'll wait it out until 8 or 830. Of course, they never go to John's side of the bed and make noise. As much as it drives me nuts, I do enjoy getting some time by myself. I get to catch up on my DVR and play on the computer.

Today is going to be a wonderful day. John just told me he's going to a car show today, woo hoo! As much as I love him, it's always nice to have a day to myself. He's not the type to sit around on the weekends, or ever really for that matter, whereas I'm fine spending a Saturday on the couch. If he doesn't have plans, he's always thinking of somewhere for us to go or something to do.
I'm meeting Christa to workout at 10 and after that the day is mine!

It's not fair

2008-05-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

I really feel like laying down and throwing a tantrum like an infant. Some days I'm so tired of this weight loss game. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.

I've decided, as much as it angers me, that my body is deadset on my current weight. About 2 months ago, I hit a plateau so I decided I would just try and maintain until after my birthday. Then after that I would try to lose those last 10 pounds. In Weight Watchers when you want to maintain your weight, you add in 2 extra points to your day and then see if you gain weight. If you gain more than 2 pounds, you cut those points out. If you don't gain or you still lose you add in 2 more. You continue this until you find the most points you can eat without gaining. This is such a scary thing because my problems are so mental. Even a minimal gain can send me into a craze. I think, "Screw it, I can't do this I'm destined to be fat." and run for my pantry. I know I have to change my way of thinking but I'm so hard on myself so any type of gain to me is a failure.

So I just kept telling myself I needed to give this a try and if I gained a few pounds I would just go back to losing mode. When I'm in losing mode I get 20 points a day so I added in 2 and nothing happened so I added in 2 more. I went up about a pound but it comes and goes so I decided to stop there. So I stayed at 24 points a day and it felt good to be able to eat a little bit more and not gain. Now that my birthday is over I was ready to lose again. So last week, I cut back to 20 points a day. I was excited to get on the scale on Saturday praying for a loss. Guess how much I lost?
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, so disappointing. I mean I couldn't even get a half a pound? I'm sure you're listing off all the reasons but I promise you, AF is nowhere near, I haven't had anymore sodium than normal and I was weighing at the same time and scale. I can't even put into words the frustration I feel with this. Maybe this is just the smallest my body can be. If so, that blows big time. I don't think I'm being unrealistic. Ten more pounds wouldn't put me in a class with Mary-Kate (or Ashley whichever one had the ED) or anything, I'd be 130.

I wonder if I'm too fixated on the number. If I could lose those last 10, I would be at 50 total since I began WW way back in the day. I have just always had 130 in my mind and feel like a failure if I accept that I won't meet my original goal. I have friends who are this weight or comparable in comparison to their height who I consider thin. I don't think I am thin and maybe I think if I can be like them, I'll be thin too. I know that everyone is different and I've got to work with the body God gave me. I try and tell myself this over and over but still part of me isn't satisfied. I just wish he'd give me the chance to test out 130 and see what it's like. Who knows, it may be too small for me. I mean if I lose anymore in my butt, I'm going to need to carry a doughnut with me to sit on. But my hope is that at least some of it would come out of my belly.

Some tell me not to lose any more, that I'd be too thin. I think that is a joke but even if it was true I just want to find it out for myself instead of have to put so much effort into convincing myself that this is a good weight for me.

My New Hairdo

2008-04-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling in a hair rut lately and I was getting the itch to hack my hair off. I made that mistake right after the wedding and nearly 2 years later, my hair still isn't back to my prewedding length. Thankfully my hairdress talked me out of it and suggested adding some layers and using hot rollers versus a flat iron. I was hoping it would give me the change I need and it exceeded my expectations.
Before:

After:

A birthday in Vegas

2008-04-14T14:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend I celebrated my 26th birthday with my Hubs in Vegas. It was a wonderful distraction from the fact that I'm now on the downhill to 30.

We got there Friday afternoon and checked into the Monte Carlo. After a few snafus with our room, we were checked in and decided to hit the Strip.

After losing some money, we hit the buffet. Although I ate like total crap, I did notice my way of thinking has really changed. My first thought was load up on th veggies, look for meats that are grilled, etc. I was proud of myself for having those thoughts even though I didn't follow through. I have come to the conclusion that I just love eating and food.

After a long drive and pigging out, we were pooped so we were off to bed. The next morning, which was my actual birthday, I woke up bright and early. I hit the pool while John went off to a car show for a little while. It was so nice to sit and relax with some of my favorite things.

John joined me after a few hours and we lounged around.

I have worn a 2 piece in public maybe twice in my life. I have had this bathing suit for 2 years and finally felt somewhat confident to wear it. At first, I was really self conscious. I still see myself as the fat girl and felt like everyone was staring at me. After a little while, I realized I'm not who I used to be and even if I don't have the perfect body (who really does?) , who cares? I've worked hard and I should be proud of it and show it off.

That night we were on our way to dinner and decided to play some slots before left our hotel. We sat down at some quarter slots and they wouldn't take our money. So we moved to another machine and put in $10. John has taught me to always max bet so we hit the button and the machine stops on 3 Monte Carlo symbols in a row. While I was trying to figure out what that meant, John realized it means you've hit the jackpot. We looked up and it said $391.06! So the lights and bells are going off and I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do. You can't just cash out for that amount, so I started yelling at him to go find someone before it dissapears. Finally someone came over and I got my winnings. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift!

I was in shock for the rest of the night. After stashing my winnings in the room, we went to the Palms. We had a yummy dinner and I tried sake for the first time.

The next morning, I woke up and my stomach was not happy with me. I think the weekend of eating like crap and drinking caught up with me. My wonderful husband packed up our stuff and got us ready to go since I barely had the energy to even take a shower. We headed home and thankfully I was feeling ok when we passed state line and so I decided to spend some of my winnings at the Coach outlet.

It's so funny, even though it's money I hadn't planned on having, I had such anxiety about making such a big purchase. I ended up with a purse and a matching wallet. We got home in about 6 hours, after a handful of stops. It was a wonderful weekend and I've almost forgotten the fact that I'm no longer 25.

Running

2008-04-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

As much as I've always said I'm not a runner, I think I might just be turning into one. Initially, I could only run MAYBE 2 minutes at a time. Now, I can run for 18 minutes straight and walk for a few minutes and run for another 10. I never thought I would be able to do that. I'm only running at a 12 minute mile pace right now but I'd rather work on my endurance and then focus on speed.

Step Aerobics

2008-03-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

Awhile back I started taking a step aerobics class. I was looking for a change to my workout and had always enjoyed it when we did it in high school PE. The first class I took was insane. The instructor went a million miles a minute and didn't give any instruction. I felt discouraged but knew I wanted to give a different instructor a try. I tried a class with an instructor I had in the past for yoga. It was a blast! It's a lot like a dance class with routines and different moves. So it keeps my interest and time goes so quickly because I'm focused.
The great thing about it is that you can tailor the class to your level. For instance, when you are doing knee lifts from side to side you can add in a turn or extra step between lifts. Also, you choose how many risers you add under your step. Last night I was beginning to think maybe one riser was becoming to easy. Coincidentally, the instructor decided to play "musical steps" where whenever she calls it, you have to go find a different step to use. While doing this I got to try a step with 2 risers. Oh....my....gaw.... I was dying after 10 seconds. I'll stick to my 1 riser for now!
If you have ever thought about trying a step class but are afraid you will be lost, check out http://www.turnstep.com/Moves/index.html. It has a description as well as an animated picture demonstrating the basic moves.

Mmmmm Fiber

2008-03-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

I know how beneficial it is to incorporate fiber in your diet and as a weight watcher I know it's important because enough fiber can lower the point value of a food. I try to get it in as much as I can but finding high fiber foods that taste good can be a challenge. I had heard of FiberOne but was always afraid to try it. Let's be honest, it looks like a bowl of twigs. Through the The Grocery Game I was able to try some of their bars. I figured, even if they taste like crap, I'm only out like 50 cents. I bought the Oats and Chocolate Bar and much to my surprise, the were awesome!

They are nice and chewy and pack 9 grams of fiber in each bar. That's more than a third of your daily recommend fiber intake. After trying these, I decided to give their cereal a try. I still couldn't bring myself to try original so I tried the Honey Clusters.

Yummmmy and one cup has half your fiber for the day! That's insane! Now that I am hooked on Fiber One products, I signed up for their site and received a sample of their new cereal in the mail yesterday. It's called Caramel Delight and it tastes a lot like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yummy yum yum!

Happy Birthday Gunner!

2008-03-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Gunner's birthday. It's not his actual birthday but it's the anniverary of the day we adopted him, so I count that as his birthday. He was turned into the Mission Viejo Animal Shelter by some guys who claimed to have found him tied up to a tree. Who could give up this adorable baby? Oh well, their loss!

I can't believe we have had him for two years. Although I can't remember life without him, it still feels like we just got him. Here are a few highlights from the last two years:

Waiting at the shelter for someone to love him

Ringbearer at our wedding

Halloween 2006

Christmas 2006

What he does best, sleeping

Halloween 2007

Christmas 2007

Playing with his brother, Bailey

Happy Birthday Gunner, Mommy loves you.

My first blog...

2008-03-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

Just a little warning, my life isn't that exciting. In a nutshell, I'm 25 and have been married since July 2oo6. We live in a quaint 1 bedroom house with our 2 Boston Terriers. I do have a few hobbies that keep me entertained so I thought I would start this blog to share them with others. They are as follows:

1. Working out

I started working out consistently about 6 month ago. I have NEVER worked out that consistently in my whole life. I have never felt better and I'm working my way toward a rockin' bod. I recently changed up my routine after months of the eliptical. I could feel myself growing tired of the monotony and decided I would try something new. I started taking a step aerobics class once a week and now run and ride the bike. I'm even training for the half marathon of the 2008 Nike Women's Marathon in October. I signed up with a group of Nesties. It's a raffle system and they only choose 20,000 people. So I'm not sure if we will be chosen but I'm hoping that if not we will find another one.

2. Weight Watchers

I found WW over 4 years ago. I had a lot of success but never made it to my goal. This past fall I decided I was tired of my weight going up and down so I signed back up and went full speed ahead. I've learned that it really isn't a diet, it's a way of life. As corny as the commercials are, they hit the nail on the head. I hit my WW goal weight in December and am really close to my personal goal. I've decided to work on just maintaining my weight for a while, which is a totally new way of thinking. I've never been in this position so I'm learning to continue this lifestyle without the excitement of watching the scale go down. I'm learning to judge my successes in other ways like my clothes or my increasing physical fitness.

3. The Grocery Game

A few months ago I learned about this from a coworker. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's website that publishes a list of all the great deals using sale prices and coupons for certain grocery stores. For a small fee, you can have access to those lists. I love saving money (who doesn't?) and thought I would give it a try. It has become my addiction! We save so much money and get to try products we wouldn't necessarily try at the regular price.

4. Sewing

In my quest for total domestication I askd for a sewing machine for my birthday last year. My projects are still simple but I really enjoy it and hope to try more challenging projects soon.

So that's